Say my name.BANDO.thankYa Low light on the window, blue glow on the street Every choice leaves a trail that the family can see I keep my phone face down, heart loud in my chest Trying to outrun the storm I carried in myself don’t wanna be here no more, fuck this world I’m in Every day’s another battle that I’m probably not gon’ win All these memories keep on haunting, never leave me be Stuck inside my mental cell, I just wanna be set free Lost and lonely in the darkness, I’m just screaming in my head Wish that I could disappear, fade to black and go to bed But there ain’t nowhere to run, ain’t nowhere that I can hide From the ghosts of who I was and all the tears I take the long way home so the trouble won’t follow Can’t let my bad decisions knock on mama’s door tomorrow Every move got a ripple, every word got a cost I built walls for protection, then forgot what I lost Late nights, no sleep, counting cracks in the ceiling Making deals with my demons just to quiet the feeling I had love in my hands, but I treated it careless Now the room feels cold and the silence feels jealous I was breaking my name while I chased a way out Wore a smile for the crowd with a storm in my mouth If I hurt you, believe me, I was lost in the noise Trying to bury the pain with a pocket of coins don’t wanna be here no more, fuck this world I’m in Every day’s another battle that I’m probably not gon’ win All these memories keep on haunting, never leave me be Stuck inside my mental cell, I just wanna be set free Lost and lonely in the darkness, I’m just screaming in my head Wish that I could disappear, fade to black and go to bed But there ain’t nowhere to run, ain’t nowhere that I can hide From the ghosts of who I was and all the tears I don’t blame the whole world for the mess that I made But the weight on my shoulders gets heavier each day If I vanish in the dark, don’t mistake it for pride I’ve been wrestling with the person I keep locked inside There’s a war under my skin, and it won’t let me rest No army at the door, just a battle in my chest I keep reaching for the light with my hands full of smoke Every promise that I break leaves another thing broke There’s a war under my skin, but I’m learning to breathe Trying not to make my wounds what my loved ones receive If tomorrow gives me room, I’ll be honest and brave I can’t change where I’ve been, but I can choose what I save don’t wanna be here no more, fuck this world I’m in Every day’s another battle that i push though You called while I was distant, I was buried in my head You were asking for a future, I was haunted by the past instead You gave me your patience, I paid you back with doubt Kept searching for betrayal till I pushed your love out I know money can sparkle, but it never stays warm Can’t buy back a minute when the damage is done I had people beside me, still I felt like a ghost Held tight to my anger like it mattered the most Every friend ain’t a friend, every hand ain’t a guide Some will cheer for the shine, never stand for the fight So I’m checking my circle, checking every intent Trying to tell the difference between love and a debt I don’t blame the whole world for the mess that I made But the weight on my shoulders gets heavier each day If I vanish in the dark, don’t mistake it for pride I’ve been wrestling with the person I keep locked inside There’s a war under my skin, and it won’t let me rest No army at the door, just a battle in my chest I keep reaching for the light with my hands full of smoke Every promise that I break leaves another thing broke There’s a war under my skin, but I’m learning to breathe Trying not to make my wounds what my loved ones receive If tomorrow gives me room, I’ll be honest and brave I can’t change where I’ve been, but I can choose what I save don’t wanna be here no more, fuck this world I’m in Every day’s another battle that I’m probably not gonna fuckin win I’ve seen pride turn a home into a place no one trusts Seen a heart full of gold get buried under the rust I’ve been running from help like it came with a chain But the strongest thing I’ve done was admit I’m in pain So if I call, pick up If I fall, lift me up I’m done pretending these scars Are proof of who we are There’s a war under my skin, but it’s losing its hold I’m putting down the weight I was too scared to let go Every step toward the truth puts my feet on the ground I was lost in my reflection, now I’m turning around There’s a war under my skin, but I’m learning to breathe Trying not to make my wounds what my loved ones receive If tomorrow gives me room, I’ll be honest and brave I can’t change where I’ve been, but I can choose what I save Low light on the window, dawn coming through I still carry the damage, but I’m making something new No army at the door, no mask on my face Just one more chance to leave the darkness in its place
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