i don’t know who to yell at so i bite the inside of my cheek stand at the sink and nod along like i’m listening, like i’m sweet i keep it together like that’s a gift everyone loves how calm i am i can feel my molars split count backwards drop your shoulders say what sounds right nothing moves i signed for the damage don’t remember the theft everyone says it’s no one’s fault like that helps me sleep keep telling me i’m fine i can taste copper now every touch feels like a knife but i don’t say a thing but I don't say a thing i’m not mad at you i checked i’m not mad at me that’s worse it would be easier if i had a door to kick but all i’ve got is perfect posture and a mouth full of blood and spit call it growth call it safety i say okay and hold my shape i signed for the damage don’t remember the theft everyone says it’s no one’s fault like that helps me sleep keep telling me i’m fine i can taste copper now every touch feels like a knife but i don’t say a thing but I don't say a thing if this is freedom why do i feel managed if this is healing why am i still bracing tell me who i’m allowed to blame i’ll do it clean i’ll do it quiet i’ll do it in the right voice i’ll keep my mouth soft when i speak i signed for the damage don’t remember the theft say it was nobody’s fault say it till i thank you i don’t know who to yell at so i hold it in my teeth keep my hands in my lap keep my jaw in its place keep my eyes on your face and if you ask how i’m doing i’ll say better i’ll say tired i’ll say thank you i’ll say nothing and bite down till you believe me
