Excuse Olympics

Intro (announcer voice) “Welcome to the finals — where nobody’s guilty and everybody’s late!” Verse 1 Gold medal goes to Jason — “I overslept, my cat got sick” Silver for Rebecca — “Traffic jam, apocalypse!” Bronze to me, the reigning champ — “I never said I’d come, check the fine print, champ.” Pre-Chorus Stretch the truth, stick the landing, cough on cue Excuses are the sport — and I’ll beat you too Chorus (chant) Run! Hide! Blame! Deny! Excuse Olympics, watch us qualify Not my fault, I swear on God Excuse Olympics — clap while we applaud Verse 2 (call + response) “Wi-Fi died.” (Your router’s fine.) “My mom said no.” (You’re thirty-nine.) “My Uber crashed.” (Into a lie.) “I had a dream I went — that counts, right?” Pre-Chorus Alibis with training wheels, dodging like a pro Every ‘sorry’ rehearsed for the show Chorus (bigger) Run! Hide! Blame! Deny! Excuse Olympics, reach for the sky Silver tongue, bronze spine, fake it on the fly Excuse Olympics — liar’s lullaby Bridge (breakdown, spoken deadpan) “Coach says: pivot, stutter, weaponize a sigh. If they ask for proof, just say you almost died.” Breakdown (chant with claps) Crowd chant: “Not me! Not me! Not me!” Drums pounding like a starter pistol. Final Chorus (anthemic + sarcastic) Run! Hide! Blame! Deny! Excuse Olympics — history’s high We don’t take gold, we don’t take shame Excuse Olympics — we just play the blame Outro (announcer voice, dry) “And that concludes today’s events. Nobody wins. Perfect.” Sound Prompt “Fast sarcastic punk-rock, 140 BPM. Driving guitars, chantable chorus with gang vocals, clapping breakdown, playful announcer sample. Energetic male vocal, half-sarcasm, half-serious like a mock sports anthem.”