not your boyfriend anymore (alternate raw and depressing acoustic remix)

[Intro, Bare acoustic guitar fingerpicking, Soft room noise, Broken sigh] I'm not your boyfriend anymore... Fuck. I hate how that sounds. [Verse 1, Intimate whispered vocals, Sparse acoustic guitar] Yesterday I had somebody to call mine Now I'm staring at the ceiling wasting all my time Fifth fucking heartbreak, tell me what does that make me? Every goodbye digs up the shit that already breaks me I keep thinking about the first girl I ever had The first time love was something real instead of something sad Ever since I lost her, every ending feels the same Like the past kicks down the door and starts screaming my name [Pre-Chorus, Strummed acoustic building, Crackling voice] Here it comes again That old familiar ghost The second somebody leaves I remember who I lost the most [Chorus, Raw emotional male vocals, Heavy acoustic strumming] I'm not your boyfriend anymore I'm depressed as fuck on the bedroom floor Five broken hearts and I'm keeping score How many times can I take one more? I'm not your boyfriend anymore And that old curse is knocking at my door Love shows up, then it disappears And every goodbye brings back seven years [Verse 2, Soft fingerpicking, Painfully fragile voice] I don't even know what I'm supposed to do When everything I planned had a place for you Now my phone stays quiet and the nights drag on And I keep waking up remembering you're gone I tell myself I'm cursed when it comes to love Like happiness gets close then decides I've had enough But maybe that's the grief underneath my skin Turning every new goodbye into the first loss again [Pre-Chorus, Trembling vocal delivery] Here it comes again That old familiar pain Different person leaving Same storm inside my brain [Chorus, Anguished cracked vocals, Hard acoustic strumming] I'm not your boyfriend anymore I'm depressed as fuck on the bedroom floor Five broken hearts and I'm keeping score How many times can I take one more? I'm not your boyfriend anymore And that old curse is knocking at my door Love shows up, then it disappears And every goodbye brings back seven years [Bridge, Guitar slows down, Almost whisper] I miss who I was before loss taught me fear Before every goodbye made the past reappear I don't know what comes next I don't know what to say I just know this fucking pain is loud today So I'll say that I'm hurting instead of hiding away I'll let somebody hear me when I don't feel okay [Final Chorus, Desperate shouting-singing, Intense acoustic rhythm] I'm not your boyfriend anymore I'm depressed as fuck and my heart is sore Five broken hearts but I'm still keeping on Even when every damn answer feels gone I'm not your boyfriend anymore And that old grief still scratches at my door But love leaving doesn't mean I'm cursed Tonight fucking hurts But it won't write every verse [Outro, Quiet sparse fingerpicking, Exhausted male voice] I'm not your boyfriend anymore I still hate how that sounds I don't know what happens next... But tonight... I'm not carrying all of this by myself. [Guitar ring out, Room silence] [End]