[Verse 1] Down in Gondor, in the big white keep, Them Orcs came a-marchin’, like a flood real deep. Denethor’s yellin’, “We’re doomed for sure!” While Pippin’s out back sayin’, “Let’s secure the doors!” Aragorn’s drivin’ a tractor, revvin’ real loud, While Legolas snipes from the castle shroud. Gimli’s rigged a trebuchet with a load of tires, And the boys from Rohan came with crossbows and pliers. [Chorus] It’s a redneck rumble in Minas Thirit town, Holdin’ the line as the sun goes down. With tractors, pitchforks, and plenty of beer, Them orcs and Nazgûl best steer clear. [Verse 2] The Nazgûl showed up in a chopper so black, Blades cuttin’ through the air with a mighty clack-clack. The Witch-king hollered, “I’m takin’ this place!” While Eowyn grabbed her slingshot, said, “Not today, Ace!” Faramir came back, ridin’ an ATV, Shoutin’, “They can take our walls, but not our whiskey!” Meanwhile, Gandalf’s on the roof with a megaphone, Yellin’, “Y’all better leave, or get turned to stone!” [Chorus] It’s a redneck rumble in Minas Thirit town, Holdin’ the line as the sun goes down. With tractors, pitchforks, and plenty of beer, Them orcs and Nazgûl best steer clear. [Bridge] The Nazgûl’s chopper started firin’ off rounds, While Eowyn slung rocks, yellin’, “Get outta town!” The Witch-king roared, “You can’t kill me, gal!” She smirked and hollered, “Hold my root beer, pal!” She climbed up the tower, threw a wrench at his head, The chopper spun out, crash-landed like lead. Aragorn’s crew brought some propane tanks, And with a big ol’ boom, they cleared the ranks. [Verse 3] Then came the Riders, ridin’ John Deere rigs, Rohan boys yellin’, “Time to dance, ya pigs!” Gimli’s launchin’ bowling balls, Legolas ain’t miss, And Gandalf’s got a blowtorch, dealin’ fiery bliss. Aragorn stormed in with a big ol’ grin, Swingin’ a crowbar like it’s a violin. They pushed the Orcs back, lit a victory fire, And toasted their win with homemade cider. [Chorus] It’s a redneck rumble in Minas Thirit town, Holdin’ the line as the sun goes down. With tractors, pitchforks, and plenty of beer, Them orcs and Nazgûl best steer clear. [Outro] Now if you hear the tale of that redneck fight, Know they saved the world with pure hillbilly might. From choppers to orcs, they held their ground, At Redneck Thirit, where legends are crowned.
