Feed the Beast.

Listen close, my smooth-faced lad, to the wisdom of the chin, Before you let the stubble grow... and let the wildness in. It is not hair, it is a beast, a guest upon your jaw, With a temper like a tempest and a most voracious maw. It demands a daily tribute, it requires a steady hand, Or it will lead you by the nose... across this weary land! Oh, it’s the larder on your face, it’s the garden of the wise! A shelter for the nesting birds and a veil for honest eyes! Feed it ale and feed it broth, keep the crumbs within the grain, It’s a thirsty, hungry devil... that you’ll never truly tame! Now, the Mediterranean sages say the beard can drink its fill, A deciliter from the cup... before you’ve had your swill. And if you tell a wicked lie, the whiskers start to twitch, Revealing every secret to the poor and to the rich. So stow a bit of breakfast there, a crust of salty bread, For a man with a full beard is a man who’s always fed! Oh, it’s the larder on your face, it’s the garden of the wise! A shelter for the nesting birds and a veil for honest eyes! Feed it ale and feed it broth, keep the crumbs within the grain, It’s a thirsty, hungry devil... that you’ll never truly tame! In the Slavic snows they’ll tell you that the soul lives in the hair, To shave it is to leave the spirit naked, cold, and bare. But beware the 'Red Beard Curse', the fox-fire in the light, It’ll steal the silver from your purse and vanish in the night. Keep it oiled with scented resin, keep it brushed and keep it clean, The finest piece of masonry that the world has ever seen! Oh, it’s the larder on your face, it’s the garden of the wise! A shelter for the nesting birds and a veil for honest eyes! Feed it ale and feed it broth, keep the crumbs within the grain, It’s a thirsty, hungry devil... that you’ll never truly tame! Give it a drink! Feed the beast! Give it a drink! Feed the beast! Give it a drink! Feed the beast! Give it a drink! Feed the beast! When you’re laid beneath the stone and the worms begin to creep, The beard... will keep on growing... while the rest of you’s asleep. It’ll wrap around the coffin boards and push through granite floor, To let the village know the master’s knocking at the door! So respect the hungry monster, give it wine and give it grace, For a man is just a vessel... for the glory on his face! Give it a drink! Feed the beast! Give it a drink! Feed the beast! Oh, it’s the larder on your face, it’s the garden of the wise! A shelter for the nesting birds and a veil for honest eyes! Feed it ale and feed it broth, keep the crumbs within the grain, It’s a thirsty, hungry devil... that you’ll never truly tame! Give it a drink... - Feed the beast. A thirsty... Hungry... Devil.