I learned to read the silence Before I learned to trust a word I watched the way you looked at me And wondered what I had done I kept my heart behind a door I never gave you the key You called me distant, called me cold But you never asked what I had seen I know I wasn't easy I know I pulled away But you only saw the distance You never saw the weight I was never hard to love I was hard to reach I built a thousand walls Around the fragile parts of me I was never asking for too much I was asking you to stay I wasn't trying to push you out I was scared you'd walk away I was never hard to love I was hard to know You called it being difficult I called it coming home too slow I learned to leave before goodbye To disappear before the pain If I never let you close enough You couldn't leave me changed So I became an expert At pretending I don't care I'd rather carry everything alone Than need somebody there I know I wasn't easy I know I made mistakes But there's a difference between being guarded And having nothing left to give away I was never hard to love I was hard to reach I built a thousand walls Around the fragile parts of me I was never asking for too much I was asking you to stay I wasn't trying to push you out I was scared you'd walk away I was never hard to love I was hard to know You called it being difficult I called it coming home too slow Maybe one day I'll believe That I don't have to disappear That someone can see the walls And still choose to come near Maybe love was never meant To break me through the door Maybe I just needed someone Who wasn't afraid to knock once more I wasn't cold I was afraid I wasn't distant I was waiting I wasn't broken I was protecting Everything I couldn't say I was never hard to love I was hard to reach But that doesn't mean There was nothing good in me I was never asking for too much I was asking to feel safe I wasn't trying to push you out I was learning how to stay I was never hard to love I just needed time To believe that someone could hold my heart Without asking me to hide I was never hard to love I know that now I don't have to earn a place By making myself small I was never hard to love I was just afraid to be known And maybe that's not the same thing After all...
