NDC Week 22/75 Genre: Military March Music Theme: Covid Rage ############################## [Intro] “This is a public emergency announcement… Remain calm… And for the love of God… Leave some toilet paper for the others…” [Verse 1] Aisle fourteen became the front, Grandma charged with fearless grunt. Shopping carts like tanks collide, Paper towers stacked waist-high. One poor soul reached for the last two-pack, Never made it safely back. Children cried in frozen fear, “Mom… there’s no soft paper here…” Stock the shelves! Guard the doors! This means war forevermore! [Chorus] HOLD THE LINE! DEFEND THE STORE! NO ONE LEAVES WITH TWENTY MORE! ROLL BY ROLL WE STAND AS ONE! THE GREAT TOILET WAR’S BEGUN! FOR THE LAST ROLL! FOR THE LAST ROLL! [Verse 2] Scouts reported shelf collapse, Sector seven’s gone perhaps. Paper towels now black-market gold, Legends of the brave retold. One old man with thousand-yard stare, Clutched two-ply like holy prayer. Meanwhile Karen stormed the gate, Demanding twelve at half past eight. [Bridge] “We lost the pharmacy at dawn… The enemy has secured the premium quilted reserves… God help us all…” [Breakdown] BUY! BUY! BUY! BUY! STACK IT TO THE CEILING HIGH! WIPE! WIPE! WIPE! WIPE! TRIPLE-PLY WILL SAVE OUR LIVES! [Final Chorus] HOLD THE LINE! DEFEND THE STORE! THIS IS WHAT WE TRAINED FOR! MARCH AS ONE THROUGH FEAR AND PAIN! THE TOILET PAPER SHALL REMAIN! FOR THE LAST ROLL! FOR THE LAST ROLL! Roll by roll… We survived… “…they’ve restocked the aisle…”
