Taken The Asylum - Based on "A Christmas Carol"

[Intro – spoken, cold, menacing, low male voice] You are endeavouring to raise - a fund???! To buy the poor - some meat???! - and drink???! What shall you put me down for???! Well… Let me tell you. [Verse 1 – bitter, sarcastic, building intensity] You put me down - gentlemen! With your every breath of air! I hear your hateful whispers, but… Oh, I struggle so to care! [Verse 2 – cold, contemptuous] “Old Scrooge!” they boo and hiss “Miserable skinflint! Tight-fisted!” Lips stained with sheer disdain "No meaner man has yet existed!" [Verse 3 – growing menace] Your distaste you soon forget You stand before me Grasping hands outstretched… [Verse 4 – cold, contemptuous] Old London is now shrunken With the lazy and the drunken. See the idle, feckless hordes! They are seeking what is mine… They are craving what is yours! [Verse 5 – building intensity] But I say now, upon my vow! If it’s meat and drink These hungry masses need… [Interlude – spoken, icy, dismissive] Then they must find the means… Find the means… To buy some! [Chorus – explosive, theatrical, powerful male vocals] Gather round for my sermon! (ohhhh, ohhhh) This, ohhhh this! This is my burden! Here’s the truth you must digest! (ohhhh, ohhhh) I am the ONLY sane man left! I offer sanity — come try some! (ohhhh, ohhhh) For the lunatics…oh, the lunatics! They have taken the asylum! (ohhhh, ohhhh, ohhhh) They have taken the asylum! [guitar instrumental break] [Verse 6 – bitter, defiant] For such wise men — ha! Have you not learned? Why should I give away What I have earned? [Interlude – spoken, cruel, sarcastic] Tell the poor simply this: Life. Is. Struggle. So go find another sucker’s teat to suckle! [instrumental break] [Bridge – dramatic, rising tension] You do not understand You gasp, wring your hands! My attitude is not permitted? You call me cruel! You think me wicked! A nasty, evil villain…so you cry! [Verse 7 – cold, preaching] Come bleeding hearts! Come lily-livered creed! They must hear the truths They clearly - sorely! - need! Even if — especially if — it riles ‘em! [Chorus – explosive, theatrical, powerful male vocals] Gather round for my sermon! (ohhhh, ohhhh) This, ohhhh this! This is my burden! Here’s the truth you must digest! (ohhhh, ohhhh) I am the ONLY sane man left! I offer sanity — come try some! (ohhhh, ohhhh) For the lunatics…oh, the lunatics! They have taken the asylum! (ohhhh, ohhhh, ohhhh) They have taken the asylum! [guitar instrumental break] [Verse 8 – final, venomous] I say to you now Without a second’s hesitation… [Interlude – spoken, cold, final] If they would rather die, They had better do it… And decrease the surplus population! [Outro – final, hateful, low male voice] Where is the good to your goodwill? Love’s never paid a single bill. Begone! And close the door behind 'em! I’m the only sane man… In this hateful… No-good… HUMBUG… …asylum.