I said it better when no one was here… I mapped it out down to the breath I’d take Every pause placed right before it could break I even practiced how my hands would move Like honesty’s a thing you can improve I kept my voice at a measured pace Soft enough not to scare you away Every word had a reason to land— I even wrote where you’d understand I knew the moment you’d look at me Right when I’d say what I’m scared to be And you’d lean in, like it all made sense— Like truth don’t come with consequence I ran it back till it felt like truth Like if I nailed it, I couldn’t lose I practiced this conversation alone Every word, every crack in my tone You’d say my name like you always do— Soft enough that I’d make it through But standing here, I’m losing the thread It sounded different inside my head I had it perfect—line by line— Now nothing’s landing… right this time I— Wait—no, that’s not what I meant— I didn’t plan for the way you’d stare Like you could hear what I didn’t prepare My hands forgot where they’re meant to stay Now everything’s drifting out of place I skip the parts that were meant to land Trip on the words I could always command There was a version where this felt clean— Now I’m choking on in-between You don’t react how I wrote you down No understanding, no soft come-around Just silence stretching too far to fake— And every second feels like a mistake Just stay calm, stick to the line— I can’t—this isn’t—this isn’t right— I practiced this conversation alone— Every word, every crack in my tone— I didn’t—this isn’t how it goes— I can’t remember what I wrote— You’d say my name like you always do— Why won’t you say anything—? Soft enough that I’d make it through— I thought I had this—what am I doing— I had it perfect— / I lost the line— Every version— / none of it’s mine— There’s a version of me you almost met Who said it right, who didn’t regret Who held the moment without it slipping— But he only exists When no one’s listening I practiced— …this conversation— Every word— / I lost the thread— You’d say my— / you never said— I had it perfect… I had it— …It sounded better When no one was there
