Verse 1 I’ve got conditions with names that don’t fit in a line But I feel them every morning when I wake up inside mine My back talks in thunder My hips answer slow And the man I used to be still knocks where I can’t go Pre-Chorus I miss the job, I miss the fight I miss the young ones needing light I miss the purpose in the storm Before this body changed its form Chorus There’s pain behind the smile Fire under skin I laugh for a while Then the dark comes creeping in I’m stoned enough to stand But sober enough to know This isn’t how I planned For my working heart to go Pain behind the smile Still walking every mile Verse 2 I worked with broken children while I was breaking too Held the line in chaos like I knew what to do Now I sit with memories of who I used to be A man who gave his strength away then lost it quietly Pre-Chorus Differently abled, not erased Still got soul, still got grace But every day I pay the cost For the career and life I lost Chorus There’s pain behind the smile Fire under skin I laugh for a while Then the dark comes creeping in I’m stoned enough to stand But sober enough to know This isn’t how I planned For my working heart to go Pain behind the smile Still walking every mile Bridge I don’t want pills to own my name I don’t want numbness dressed as gain Give me soil and rain and leaves Give me air so I can breathe Let the roots teach me to mend Let the sunset be my friend Let nature hold what pharma missed A healing hand, not just a fist Final Chorus There’s pain behind the smile But there’s healing in the ground I’ve been lost for a while But I’m not staying down I’m stoned enough to stand And strong enough to grow With a plant in my hand And a fire in my soul Pain behind the smile Still walking every mile Outro Differently abled, still alive Still got roots, still got drive Pain behind the smile… But still I rise.
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