Buskin Bob - Happy To Be Jobless

Woke up around eleven Had nowhere I had to be Would’ve slept till noon But the park crew watered me No alarm clock on the sidewalk No supervisor calling I’m happy to be jobless Mostly ’cause nobody’s hiring I’m happy to be jobless Lord, ain’t unemployment grand? All this freedom in my pockets Not a nickel in my hand No boss No clock No paycheck coming in I’m happy to be jobless Since all the goddamn jobs are gone Every window says “NOW HIRING” Every manager says no They’re desperate for good workers Just not desperate enough for Bob They said, “We’ll keep your name on file” I said, “That makes thirty-three” There must be one hell of a filing cabinet Full of fellas just like me I’m happy to be jobless Lord, ain’t unemployment grand? All this freedom in my pockets Not a nickel in my hand No boss No clock No paycheck coming in I’m happy to be jobless Since all the goddamn jobs are gone Found an entry-level opening Needs ten years and a degree Reliable transportation And open availability Pay is “very competitive” They wouldn’t tell me what it pays Guess the wage got tired of losing And withdrew from the race Fellow asked me in an interview “Where you see yourself in five?” I said, “Somewhere warm and indoors Would be nice if I’m alive” He stared down at my resume Then showed me to the door I should’ve said “upper management” But I’ve never lied that good before I’m happy to be jobless Lord, ain’t unemployment grand? All this freedom in my pockets Not a nickel in my hand No boss No clock No paycheck coming in I’m happy to be jobless Since all the goddamn jobs are gone No commute No meetings No mandatory overtime No payroll deductions When the payroll never comes No dress code No name tag No training videos to watch Only trouble with no job is… Every goddamn thing costs They say work will give you purpose Give a man a reason why I got purpose every morning: Find a bathroom Stay dry Charge my phone inside the library Check my inbox around three Another kindly worded message Saying they went differently I’m happy to be jobless That’s my story That’s my stand I got all the time in this world And no future fucking planned No boss No clock No paycheck coming in I’m happy to be jobless Tell myself that all day long Yeah, I’m happy to be jobless Wouldn’t change it if I could But if you know somebody hiring, Tell ’em Bob is pretty good Real good worker Shows up mostly Don’t steal much Hell… Have ’em give me a call