Uh... is he breathing Yeah, I think so. It’s only 8:30 pm We aren’t canceling the limo. Get the sunglasses He downed the bottle in a record time Now he’s looking like a victim of a petty crime Face down on the carpet of the hotel suite We got a reservation that we gotta meet We aren't staying in to watch him drool We’re taking this cadaver out to play it cool Grab his left arm, I’ll grab his right We’re dragging Connor out into the city light Slap the Ray-Bans on his pasty face Adjust his collar, gotta give him some grace It’s our weekend, he’s just coming along Even though he doesn’t know right from wrong He’s the life of the party, dead on his feet The best damn dancer on the whole concrete Weekend at Bernie’s? Nah, weekend at Connor’s We’re the puppeteers, we’re the lucky owners Hey! Hey! Hey! Look, we hit the beach club, sun was on the rise Connor’s got the shades hiding vacant eyes A row of bikinis walking down the sand I reached out and grabbed his cold, limp hand Made him give a wave like he’s the king of the coast They didn't even notice he was basically a ghost One blew a kiss, I made him blow one back I’m pretty sure I heard his shoulder blade crack Then we hit the night spot, skipped the velvet rope The bouncer looked at Connor and said "Nope." I said, "Relax, man, he’s just meditative He’s a rockstar, highly sedated." Duct-taped a vodka-soda to his snaggletooth We threw him in a conga line, he led the pack Just dragging his Gucci loafers on the track It’s our weekend, he’s just coming along Even though he doesn’t know right from wrong He’s the life of the party, dead on his feet The best damn dancer on the whole concrete Weekend at Bernie’s? Nah, weekend at Connor’s We’re the puppeteers, we’re the lucky owners A cop walked by on the boardwalk strip Connor was slumping, losing his grip The officer said, "Son, are you okay?" I grabbed Connor’s wrist and I made him wave "He’s just chilling, officer! Just soaking it in!" The cop gave a thumbs up and a stupid grin We got away with it! The perfect crime Having the undisputed time of our life It’s our weekend, he’s just coming along Even though he doesn’t know right from wrong He’s the life of the party, dead on his feet The best damn dancer on the whole concrete Weekend at Bernie’s? Nah, weekend at Connor’s We’re the puppeteers, we’re the lucky owners "Ugh... my head. Did we do anything fun?" "Dude! You crowd-surfed. You met a model. You won a limbo contest." "Really?" "Yeah. Check your Instagram. You’re a legend."
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