Is It Gluten Free? (Ska Tavern Stomp)

[Verse 1] Good sir, before we start this feast A question nags at me You say this bread was blessed by priests But is it gluten free You boast of pies that bend the knee To kings across the sea Yet last time that I touched your crust I met my destiny [Chorus] Is it gluten free Look me in the eye and swear to me I have a fragile tum And a pilgrimage tomorrow, I must come To the holy latrine (oh no) Is it cursed with wheat Hidden in the soup, beneath the meat I beg of you, kind knave Spare me from the bathroom grave Tell me, is it gluten free [Verse 2] Your stew, a swirling mystery With dumplings, three or four You say they’re “mostly air, you’ll see” I’ve heard that lie before Last banquet at the countess’ hall I tasted “barley light” I spent six hours in the moat Debating wrong from right [Chorus] Is it gluten free Swear it on your mother’s rosary I’d like to court a dame Not engrave my name in privy frame As the Porcelain Knight (hey!) Is there wicked grain Lurking in the ale to wreck my brain Just whisper true to me By the saints of digest-ee Tell me, is it gluten free [Bridge] You say, “We’ve herbs so fresh, my lord And beans in great supply” Then why’s your pastry board A dusty wheat-filled sky I’ll trade you all my silver rings For oats that don’t betray For one fine cake that doesn’t make My soul melt clean away [Chorus] Is it gluten free Raise your right hand to the abbey tree If I survive tonight I shall sing your praises every night As my belly’s king (oh yeah) If you lie to me They’ll carve upon your tavern’s key “Here the brave come eat Here the brave admit defeat” So tell me, is it gluten free