NEANDERTALLICA [INTRO — CAVE / SPARSE] Grrr… Ugh. Rock… Bang. Stone. Fire. Bone. THUNK. Metal. [VERSE 1 — DISCOVERY] Ugh… rock make sound Me hit rock… sound go loud Fire good Rock good METAL GOOD. GRRRAAAHH! [CHORUS — FIRST RIFF] METAL! METAL! ME LIKE METAL! GRRRR—YEAH! DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN! [VERSE 2 — THEY'RE LEARNING] Me find iron in ground Me hit it—HEAR THAT SOUND You hit drum I hit stone We make noise WE MAKE SONG. [CHORUS] METAL! METAL! Now we make it LOUD! METAL! METAL! Cave become a crowd! [VERSE 3 — LANGUAGE UPGRADE] I discovered something Something bigger than the flame When I strike this piece of metal Everybody knows my name. We have rhythm. We have power. We have thunder in our hands. From a cave beside the fire To the biggest fucking band! [BREAKDOWN — CAVEMAN RETURNS] Ugh! Grrr! NO TALK! JUST RIFF! GUITAR CHUGS [FINAL VERSE — FULL BAND] Now we've got a drummer And a bassist holding down the floor Three guitars are screaming And we're kicking through the door. The lights are getting brighter And the crowd is screaming loud We started with a cave wall Now we're playing to a crowd! [FINAL CHORUS — FULLY EVOLVED] WE ARE NEANDERTALLICA! WE CAME TO ROCK TONIGHT! FROM STONE AND FIRE TO ELECTRIC LIGHT! NEANDERTALLICA! WE'RE NEVER GOING BACK! WE FOUND THE METAL NOW WE'RE ON THE ATTACK! [OUTRO — ARENA] Crowd screaming “NE-AN-DER-TAL-LI-CA!” Lead singer: “Are you ready to ROCK?!” Crowd: YEEEEAAAAAAAH! Lead singer: “LET'S GO!” Guitar solo. Drums explode. Groupies screaming from backstage.
