Tristan And Isolde (Sir CedricOf Wobbleton)

[Verse 1] Good people please, before I start a tragic tale of love and heart Sir Tristan sadly is not here though no one noticed all this year He vanished somewhere weeks ago perhaps through sorrow, rain, or snow or maybe from this drunken hall which frankly would explain it all [Chorus] Ohhh Tristan and Isolde love so bright and doomed and bold raise your cups and clap in time for the saddest love in all mankind Hey! Tristan and Isolde! kissed by fate and cursed by wine every tavern knows their name so sing along the old refrain! [Verse 2] Tristan fought with sword and pride with golden Isolde by his side but kings and vows and poison schemes destroyed the beauty of their dreams A magic drink, a stolen glance a doomed and hopeless dark romance they loved too much, they loved too late and stumbled drunkenly into fate [Chorus] Ohhh Tristan and Isolde hearts on fire growing cold clap your hands and sing once more for tragic lovers evermore Hey! Tristan and Isolde! tears and kisses, steel and wine every bard from shore to shore has sung this song a thousand times before! [Verse 3] King Mark frowned from his mighty chair while Tristan pretended not to care they hid their love through fear and lies while destiny sharpened all its knives And though they tried to run away doom politely found a way for every song of love must end with graves, regret, and rain, my friends [Bridge] Now clap along, don’t sit like stone I suffer not for art alone this is culture! this is grace! stop throwing chicken through my face! [Final Chorus] Ohhh Tristan and Isolde greatest story ever told sing it loud and drink your wine while Camelot falls out of line Hey! Tristan and Isolde! love and doom forever twinned and if you throw more bread at me I swear I’ll join a monastery! [Outro] This audience has no refinement… none… absolutely none… OW — WHO THREW THAT TURNIP?!