Mama Knows Nothin’

[Verse 1] Me and my sister spend half our days Callin’ our mama just to complain “Did you hear what she did?” “Did you hear what she said?” By the time we’re done talkin’, Momma’s shakin’ her head Then my sister calls an hour later tellin’ her version too Momma says, “Really? Well that’s somethin’ new!” And we both know that’s a lie ’Cause she heard the same story from the opposite side [Chorus] Mama knows nothin’, or that’s what she’ll say While hearin’ both sides of the story every day She just laughs and listens while we’re fussin’ on the phone Watchin’ two grown daughters act like they ain’t grown And Lord, if life gives second chances when this old world is through I hope I come back as one of Mama’s dogs, ‘Cause those dogs get spoiled rotten while we’re out here payin’ dues Mama knows nothin’… but she knows more than we do ⸻ [Verse 2] Mama’s got a horse she talks about all day long And a flock of chickens she counts when the daylight’s gone Every night she’s makin’ sure they’re all where they should be Like one might pack a suitcase and disappear mysteriously She knows every hen by color, every rooster by his crow Meanwhile her daughters leave messages she won’t answer for a week or so We tell her we’re neglected, she says, “Girls, you’re bein’ fools,” Then heads back to the pasture checkin’ on her brood [Chorus] Mama knows nothin’, or that’s what she’ll say While hearin’ both sides of the story every day She just laughs and listens while we’re fussin’ on the phone Watchin’ two grown daughters act like they ain’t grown And Lord, if life gives second chances when this old world is through I hope I come back as one of Mama’s dogs, ‘Cause those dogs get spoiled rotten while we’re out here payin’ dues Mama knows nothin’… but she knows more than we do ⸻ [Bridge] Bless her heart, she tries to cook, and Lord we love her still And if Hawaii gets brought up, honey settle in your chair You’ll see every beach and sunset and every grain of sand she swears was rare Then there’s concerts every season, countin’ down for months ahead But when those grandbabies show up, that’s where all her attention gets spent ⸻ [Final Chorus] Mama knows nothin’, or that’s what she’ll say While hearin’ both sides of the story every day She just laughs and listens while we’re fussin’ on the phone Watchin’ two grown daughters act like they ain’t grown And if we ever get another life when this one finally ends We ain’t comin’ back as daughters, we’re comin’ back as mama’s pets instead ’Cause Mama loves her critters almost as much as she loves us two [Outro] Yeah, Mama knows nothin’… But she knows us better than we do.