[Cold Open – Sparse Drone, Bowed Bass and Wooden Flute] [Polite Female Voice] Thank you for joining on such short notice. [Polite Male Voice] As part of our ongoing strategic realignment, we’ve made some extremely difficult decisions. [Second Male Voice] Your position has been impacted. [Lead Vocal, Spoken] Impacted? [Polite Female Voice] This is not a reflection of your performance. [Lead Vocal, Spoken] So... I am fired. [Brief Silence] [Polite Male Voice] We prefer to say your role has been eliminated. [Wooden Flute Descends] [Verse 1 – Intimate Psychedelic Art Rock] They praised my contribution While disabling my key They wished me every future success With security watching me They said, “Please don’t take it personally” In three compassionate tones Then handed me a wellness brochure And asked me to return their phone [Pre-Chorus – Rhythm Growing Unstable] Call it transformation Call it market change Call it strategic alignment Call it anything but its name Wrap it up in kindness Make every adjective required But translate it into human— You are fired [Chorus – Sudden Warm Reggae Groove, Major-Key Shift] Everything is gonna be alright Polish my CV, straighten my tie Everything is gonna be alright A few good calls and I’ll be back inside Everything is gonna be alright I’ve got experience, I’ll be just fine Everything is gonna be alright By Monday morning, I’ll be back online [Post-Chorus – Return Abruptly to Minor-Key Art Rock] That was what I thought At nine-oh-five [Verse 2 – Electric Bass and Brushed Drums Enter] I opened up my old résumé And blew the dust away Changed “present” into “yesterday” Then tried to start my day I thought you found a job site Typed the title and the town But while I’d been employed, it seems The whole world had broken down There’s a sourcer for the recruiter A recruiter for the brand A talent acquisition partner Who cannot tell me what they’re acquiring A headhunter found my profile For a role in Tennessee “Your background is an excellent match— Do you repair industrial HVAC?” [Pre-Chorus – Flute Becoming More Agitated] One account for every company One password for every door Upload the résumé, thank you— Now type the whole thing once more Prove that you are not a robot To the robot you’ve inspired Smile into the little camera— You are hired? No. You are fired. [Chorus – Clear Reggae Transition, Brighter but More Frantic] Everything is gonna be alright Polish my CV, optimize Everything is gonna be alright Feed it the keywords it likes tonight Everything is gonna be alright Artificially human, professionally bright Everything is gonna be alright Just make the algorithm swipe me right [Instrumental Escalation – Psychedelic Flute, Tape-Warp Voices] [Overlapping Distant Voices] Hiring manager... Talent partner... Career coach... AI screener... Recruiter... Headhunter... Personal branding... Candidate journey... Workday... SuccessFactors... Create another account... Create another account... Create another account... [Verse 3 – Loping, Disorienting Rhythm] An AI taught me how to sound human A human taught me how to please AI One said my résumé lacked emotion The other said emotions don’t apply I tailored every sentence Till my past was ATS-approved Apparently experience expires While you’re busy getting it used I made a profile for the profile That links the profile to the form Accepted seventeen privacy policies To prove that I conform I wrote a cover letter To a company without a name For a confidential opportunity Already posted six times today [Bridge – Rhythm Gradually Disappears] At eight-oh-three I lost my job At eight-fifteen They killed my access At nine-oh-five I polished my résumé At ten-forty I created my first account [Percussion Stops] At six-forty-seven I closed the screen Twelve applications Nine new passwords Seven automated confirmations Four tailored résumés Three personality tests Zero human voices [Distant Choral Murmurs] Thank you for your interest Thank you for your interest Thank you for your interest [Final Chorus – Slower Dreamlike Reggae, Gradually Warped] Everything is gonna be alright Polish my CV, one more time Everything is gonna be alright No salary, no benefits, nine to five Everything is gonna be alright Keep saying it until it sounds right Everything is gonna be... Everything is gonna be... Everything is gonna... [Reggae Groove Dissolves into Drone] [Outro – Lead Vocal, Nearly Spoken] I lost my job this morning By noon I had another Full-time Unpaid No benefits Start immediately [Mechanical Voice] Welcome aboard. [Clock-In Sound]
