[Radio crackle] [Radio Broadcast – Emergency News Update] "This is a live update coming in from the town of Greystone Falls, where authorities are currently responding to a highly unusual and confusing situation unfolding across several blocks of the downtown area." [Radio crackle] "Officials on the scene say the material is thick, spongy in texture, and has a strong, sour odor." "Adding to the confusion, blood has been found across multiple streets and sidewalks, though authorities have not yet confirmed where it came from or how long it has been there." "Traffic conditions are chaotic. Dozens of cars have been left unattended on the roads, some still idling, after reportedly sitting there for hours." "Several intersections remain gridlocked as police work to move abandoned vehicles and secure the area." "Police and EMS crews have flooded the scene, attempting to piece together what happened here. Officers are urging residents to stay indoors while investigators assess the situation." "Now… this is where things get a little strange." "We’ve received numerous reports from witnesses claiming they saw a gigantic creature moving through the streets earlier today…" "It’s being described as…" "...something that looks like… a giant muffin." "I'm sorry, this is too funny. Who wrote this script? [Laughs frantically] A giant muffin?!" [Laughs frantically] "This has to be someone playing some sort of sick joke. Folks, this might be a homicide case, no human bodies were found yet, but we will update you as soon as we can." [Muffin Lurking About] "HELLO?! WHO'S THERE?! SHOW YOURSELF!" "Huh?" "...something that looks like… a giant muf—" [Muffin opens mouth] [Muffin] SO TASTEY! *Breathing heavily* WHO WANTS A MUFFIN?! *Breathing heavily* Yo, there’s a muffin underground, buried deep below the town, No one saw it coming up, But now it’s moving ground to ground, Started as a rumor, just a story people said, Now the streets are shaking every time it’s overhead. It’s not about the pastry — it’s a symbol of the sound, Something strange is rising up beneath the broken ground, Hear the rumble in the distance, feel it under your feet, Every step it takes makes the rhythm of the beat. Somethin' strange is risin' up, Somethin' strange is risin' up, Somethin' strange is risin' up, Somethin' strange is risin' up, Yo, there's a muffin underground, buried deep below the town, No one saw it comin' up, but now it's movin' ground to ground, Started as a rumor, just a story people said, Now the streets are shakin' every time it's overhead, It's not about the pastry, it's a symbol of the sound, Somethin' strange is risin' up beneath the broken ground, Hear the rumble in the distance, feel it under your feet, Every step it takes makes the rhythm of the beat, Everybody always thinks about a muffin top, 'Cause it always rises up when it's in the muffin tray, And you know it's never, ever gonna stop, Heh, That will be the day, So you better hear it comin' when it's underground, You can feel it start to shake and move all around,
