[Verse] I'm holdin' my tongue in a sweater of yarn It's March and jingle bells are my ringtone I'd give anything to silence my phone But I can't leave the jolly old man on hold He wants me to come help with the elves and the sleigh From April to December the magic wears away I don't want to leave but I want to go I think I'm scared of what I don't wanna know [Chorus] I saw the dark side of Santa and it hurt me bad Pulled me on his lap and told me I was bad Said he'd whisk me away in his big toy bag I wasn't so lucky that night [Verse] Do you wanna be my baby? I've been feeling bat crazy To die young and be forever 27 Hope I join the club maybe He said the diet tribe wants out The dogma dictates doubt Not heartwarming Not wholesome Not holy but that man's adorable and unholy [Chorus] I saw the dark side of Santa and it hurt me bad Pulled me on his lap and told me I was bad Said he'd whisk me away in his big toy bag I wasn't so lucky that night [Verse] Know it's a cover-up 'cause what's not to love There's carrots and sugars and gifts in the tub He's all of our family but then he gets dark He pinches my arms He knows he hurts me when he He hurts me when he makes that list Checks it so closely and not even twice And wonder when I'm on the naughty list If I've been so bad to deserve this [Bridge] Please radio radio play my tape Even if it's just by mistake I know I'm the girl who ruined the holiday But it's like I've already been put away In a dark toy bag [Chorus] It's the dark side of Santa and it broke me bad Cracked me like a nut and told me I was cracked Santa's coming early in a big black bag Slay you with delight and his bad moonshine
