The Banana Leaf Monster [Verse 1] One morning back in 2015 — I woke up covered in banana smashed peach — I had no idea what had happened to me but a dead boar in a purple tee was laying next to me So immediately I rushed outside — I yelled to the boys to come to my side — I said guys what the fuck happened at The Bull Pen House Party last night — they said man you don’t wanna know, some bad dudes showed up in leather jacket coats with switch blade combs [Pre-Chorus] I yelled back “OH FUCK” because I remembered what happened — I think I stabbed one with a fork that wouldn’t stop yapping — but this dude was a half hybrid goblin shark from the 15th plane of Bruce Willis’s black black heart —- so I knew we’d all be fucked real quick if I didn’t stick that fork in that fish [Chorus] Oh shit — I stabbed a goblin shark gangster — in the dick — they call me Banana Leaf Monster I’m trippin tits and I haven’t eaten in days so just tell me these guys are fish and I’ll calmly walk away Oh shit — I stabbed a goblin shark gangster — he seems pissed — like he’s so fucking proper Fish Sir please just forget my name and I promise that I’ll calmly walk away [Post-Chorus] Well turns out forgiveness ain’t a big thing in goblin fish culture so he attacked me on the spot I couldn’t say a thing! [Verse 2] So there I was with a goblin fish shark beast swiping his sword at me Luckily at the time I had a thing that I carried on my back — it’s a mystical pink banana leaf — so I grabbed at that The goblin shark fish creature bitch was cut in half with a banana blast and his homies jumped back real fast They yelled Banana Leaf Monster the for-tellings are true — I’m sorry I ever doubted you They ran away as fast as they could and one even hit his fish balls on the hood of my car and screamed “The Brave Few will be back and you bet we’re gonna kill your ass” [Pre-Chorus] So I didn’t sleep great the whole next week — I thought I’d be getting clapped by a whole empire of fish beasts But wait they won’t come back because I’m the Banana Leaf Monster and they don’t want none of that [Chorus] Oh shit — I stabbed a goblin shark gangster — in the dick — they call me Banana Leaf Monster I’m trippin tits and I haven’t eaten in days so just tell me these guys are fish and I’ll calmly walk away Oh shit — I stabbed a goblin shark gangster — he seems pissed — like he’s so fucking proper Fish Sir please just forget my name and I promise that I’ll calmly walk away [Bridge] Well the fish shark goblins sure did come back — they did bring an army they knew I couldn’t match — they surrounded our house and Heath yelled “There’s no way out alive” But little did he know The Banana Smash Monsters from the 12th dimension awarded me the power to use a super fucking powerful banana blast beam whenever I want [Breakdown] BOOOOOOOWWWWWWWAaaahhhhHhhhhhhhHhhhhhh BAMMMMMMMMMM and with one shot the whole entire empire was incinerated into banana mist [Guitar Solo] [Final Chorus] Oh shit — I stabbed a goblin shark gangster — I’m not worried — they call me Banana Leaf Monster I’m trippin tits and I haven’t eaten in days so just tell me I didn’t imagine all the banana powers I achieved this day Oh shit — I stabbed a goblin shark gangster — and now they have no nation Fish Sir please don’t forget my name — I’m pretty fucking stacked like I earned the banana fame
