[Spoken] You ever have one of them days where mad ain’t quite the word? [Verse 1] Alarm didn’t ring, coffee pot quit, Dropped my last clean shirt in bacon grease. Truck wouldn’t start, so I kicked the tire— Hurt my foot and blamed the truck. Neighbor hollered, “Buddy, you look mad.” I said, “Mad? I’m way past that.” [Chorus] I’m madder than a mosquito at a blood-drive cancellation, Madder than a cat at a rocking-chair convention, Madder than a squirrel with a brand-new nut allergy— If you think that’s mad, you ain’t seen mad in me. Madder than a rooster who found out the sunrise don’t need him— Nope… I’m madder’n THAT! [Verse 2] Finally got the old truck going, Sheriff waved while I was towing Half my muffler down the road, Then my GPS lost where to go. Sent me up a hill, then doubled me back— Straight to the sheriff’s welcome mat. [Chorus] I’m madder than a moonshiner whose GPS found the sheriff, Madder than a coonhound whose tree was a telephone pole, Madder than a bullfrog whose pond became a parking lot, You can call that aggravated— But brother, I am not! Madder than a rooster who found out what’s in chicken nuggets— Nope… I’m madder’n THAT! [Verse 3] Got back home about half past eight, Dog had something of mine on his plate. Neighbor said, “At least nobody died.” Then a possum flopped down by my drive. I said, “Don’t you start that mess with me.” He played dead underneath my feet. [Break] I’m madder than a possum that played dead and got buried anyway, Madder than a burglar who broke in and got put to work, Madder than a bald man who won free haircuts for life— Then I opened up the door and there stood my wife. [Spoken] She said, “You think YOU had a bad day?” [Final Chorus] I was madder than a midget with a Yo-Yo , Madder than a Baptist with a casserole at a fasting revival, Madder than a banjo picker who found the guitar player’s getting paid, Madder than a hound dog whose flea collar’s been delayed! I opened my mouth— She gave me that look. [Spoken] …No, ma’am. [Instrumental Stop] [Spoken] I ain’t mad at all. [Banjo Tag] Madder’n THAT!
