Borrowed Relief

[Verse 1] I tell myself I had a day Like that’s enough to justify the way I’m reaching for something I don’t need But I don’t wanna sit with what’s in me Still got your tone inside my head Every word I wish I never said And I could let it settle, let it be But I don’t trust that part of me ⸻ [Pre-Chorus 1] So I go looking for a way out Something that can slow it down Just enough to not feel everything ⸻ [Chorus 1] I don’t want the drink I want the silence I want the noise in me to go quiet Just for a night Just for a minute Something to take the edge off living Borrowed relief I’ll pay it back In the morning when it all comes back I know it’s not real But it works right now So I let it take me out ⸻ [Verse 2] It starts off soft, almost like peace Like maybe this is what I need My shoulders drop, my thoughts get slow I feel like someone I used to know But there’s a line I always cross Between a little and a lot And I can feel it as it shifts But I don’t stop, I lean in it ⸻ [Pre-Chorus 2] I know exactly what this is now Temporary coming down Just enough to not feel everything ⸻ [Chorus 2] I don’t want the drink I want the silence I want the war in me to go quiet Just for a night Just for a minute Something to take the edge off living Borrowed relief I’ll pay it back In the morning when it all comes back I know it’s not real But it works right now So I let it take me out ⸻ [Chorus 3 — stripped, more exposed] I don’t want the drink I want the silence I just don’t know how else to find it Just for a night I let it fix it Even though I know it isn’t Borrowed relief I’ll pay it back Yeah, I already know that It’s never enough But it’s all I’ve found When I can’t calm myself down