[VHS STATIC] [CAMCORDER HUM] [CHEAP 80s SYNTH FANFARE] [ANNOUNCER: impossibly deep, serious voice] Seneca Street. [ORCHESTRA HIT] A street... [SECOND ORCHESTRA HIT] ...with liquor. [KEYTAR GLISSANDO] [ANNOUNCER] But not just ANY liquor. [GATED DRUM FILL] [UPBEAT 80s JINGLE: C major] [SYNTH BRASS + SLAP BASS] [CHEESY CHOIR] Come on down! Come on down! Everybody gather 'round! [ANNOUNCER] Where? [CHOIR] SENECA STREET! [ANNOUNCER] Why? [CHOIR] BECAUSE IT'S NEAT! [ANNOUNCER] And what will you find? [BAND STOP] [CHOIR: glorious harmony] THE BEST LIQUOR ON SENECA STREET! [SYNTH BRASS] BAH! BAH-BAAAAH! [KEYTAR SOLO] [VERSE: absurdly cheerful] Neon glowing! Traffic flowing! Seneca knows where you are going! Friendly faces! Shelves in rows! What's inside? [CHOIR] EVERYBODY KNOWS! [ANNOUNCER] Say it. [CHOIR] BEST LIQUOR! [ANNOUNCER] Where? [CHOIR] SENECA STREET! [ANNOUNCER] Again. [CHOIR, louder] BEST LIQUOR! [ANNOUNCER] Where? [CHOIR] SENECA STREET! [BAND STOP] [DISTANT ALPINE YODELER] Yo-de-lay-ee... [ANNOUNCER] What was that? [80s BAND stops awkwardly] [YODELER, closer] YO-DE-LAY-EE-OOO! [ANNOUNCER] Oh no. [LOW METAL GUITAR enters] [ORCHESTRA: ominous tremolo] [YODELER] HOLADI-EE! [GUITAR copies rhythm] CHUG-CHUG-CHUG! [YODELER] HOLADI-OO! [SUB-BASS copies melody] [ANNOUNCER] The mountain has found Seneca Street. [YÖDELCORE DROP] [ORCHESTRA + 8-STRING + GATED 80s DRUMS] [CHOIR] SENECA! [YODELER] YO-DE-LAY! [CHOIR] SENECA! [YODELER] HOLADI-EE! [ALL] BEST LIQUOR ON SENECA STREET! [SYMPHONIC BREAKDOWN] [BARITONE] BEST. [ORCHESTRA HIT] LIQUOR. [METAL CHUG] ON. [DUB BASS DROP] SENECA. [CHOIR] STREEEEEEET! [YODELER] YO-DE-LAY-EE-OOOO! [KEYTAR + METAL GUITAR DUEL] [ANNOUNCER] Other streets exist. [DRAMATIC PAUSE] [ANNOUNCER] We have been informed. [CHOIR: whispered] Allegedly. [ANNOUNCER] But are they Seneca Street? [CHOIR] NO! [ANNOUNCER] Do they have the best liquor on Seneca Street? [CHOIR] THAT WOULD BE GEOGRAPHICALLY IMPOSSIBLE! [GIANT DRUM FILL] [FINAL CHORUS: MODULATE UP] [MAXIMUM 1980s CHEESE + FULL ORCHESTRA] BEST LIQUOR! [YODEL] YO-DE-LAY! SENECA STREET! [YODEL] YO-DE-LEE! NEON LIGHTS! SYNTHESIZER BEATS! [ALL] BEST LIQUOR ON SENECA STREET! [YODEL CHOIR] YO-DE-LAY-EE-OOOO! [ALPINE HORN] [KEYTAR] [8-STRING GUITAR] [ORCHESTRA] [COWBELL] [ANNOUNCER: over total musical chaos] Conveniently located... [PAUSE] ...on Seneca Street. [ALL] SENECA STREET! [OUTRO: return to innocent 80s jingle] [METAL gradually disappears] [SOFT DX ELECTRIC PIANO] [WARM SYNTH PAD] [CHOIR: sweetly] Best liquor... On Seneca Street... [YODELER: distant] Yo-de-lay-ee... [CHOIR] Seneca Street... [KEYTAR quietly repeats hook] [ANNOUNCER: classic local-TV voice] The best liquor on Seneca Street. [SOFT SYNTH CHORD] [ANNOUNCER] Because where else would it be? [VHS TAPE WOBBLE] [JINGLE continues instrumentally] [LONG FADE, NO ABRUPT STOP] [VHS STATIC]
