The Architecture of Wanting

orchestral trip hop, cinematic boom bap, dark hip hop

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V5.5

(this one will be different)
(this one will be it)

I told myself this time would be the time
That I'd finally feel the thing I couldn't name
I'd been building toward it for so long
That the wanting of it almost felt the same
Got there — stood inside it — looked around
Waited for the ground to finally shift
Held it like it owed me something back
And felt the emptiness come in like a gift

(the same)
(exactly the same)
(it was always the same)

I wasn't even angry when it passed
Just quietly surprised it left so fast
Like I'd been sold a door that had no room
Just the feeling of arriving — then the gloom
And what I noticed more than anything
Was how quickly I moved on to something new
Like the hollow was a signal not a wound
Like the hunger always knew what it would do

(just a rest)
(it always comes back)
(it always comes back)

EVERY TIME I GOT THE THING I THOUGHT WOULD DO IT
IT WASN'T WHAT YOU THOUGHT
STOOD THERE WITH IT IN MY HANDS AND BARELY KNEW IT
IT WAS NEVER WHAT YOU THOUGHT
AND BEFORE THE FEELING EVEN HAD A NAME
YOU WERE ALREADY GONE
I WAS ALREADY LOOKING FOR THE NEXT ONE
ALREADY GONE

I have done this more times than I'll say
Dressed the same hope up in different clothes
Convinced myself the difference was the thing
When the difference was just how the wanting goes
Every time I got a little closer
To whatever I believed was waiting there
I'd arrive and feel the ceiling of it
And start scanning for the next thing in the air

(you knew)
(somewhere you already knew)
(you always already knew)

You chased it down and held it like an answer to a prayer
But answers never seem to fill the space that brought you there
You told yourself the next one had a different kind of weight
But hunger doesn't care about the thing it's pointing at
You built a life around the getting and the having and the more
Never stopped to ask yourself what you were building it all for
And even now you feel it — that familiar pull begin

Same road
Same hunger
Same empty place within
Same road
Same hunger
You're already gone again

(and I went looking)
(again)
(and again)
(and again)

2636/7500

(this one will be different) (this one will be it) I told myself this time would be the time That I'd finally feel the thing I couldn't name I'd been building toward it for so long That the wanting of it almost felt the same Got there — stood inside it — looked around Waited for the ground to finally shift Held it like it owed me something back And felt the emptiness come in like a gift (the same) (exactly the same) (it was always the same) I wasn't even angry when it passed Just quietly surprised it left so fast Like I'd been sold a door that had no room Just the feeling of arriving — then the gloom And what I noticed more than anything Was how quickly I moved on to something new Like the hollow was a signal not a wound Like the hunger always knew what it would do (just a rest) (it always comes back) (it always comes back) EVERY TIME I GOT THE THING I THOUGHT WOULD DO IT IT WASN'T WHAT YOU THOUGHT STOOD THERE WITH IT IN MY HANDS AND BARELY KNEW IT IT WAS NEVER WHAT YOU THOUGHT AND BEFORE THE FEELING EVEN HAD A NAME YOU WERE ALREADY GONE I WAS ALREADY LOOKING FOR THE NEXT ONE ALREADY GONE I have done this more times than I'll say Dressed the same hope up in different clothes Convinced myself the difference was the thing When the difference was just how the wanting goes Every time I got a little closer To whatever I believed was waiting there I'd arrive and feel the ceiling of it And start scanning for the next thing in the air (you knew) (somewhere you already knew) (you always already knew) EVERY TIME I GOT THE THING I THOUGHT WOULD DO IT IT WASN'T WHAT YOU THOUGHT STOOD THERE WITH IT IN MY HANDS AND BARELY KNEW IT IT WAS NEVER WHAT YOU THOUGHT AND BEFORE THE FEELING EVEN HAD A NAME YOU WERE ALREADY GONE I WAS ALREADY LOOKING FOR THE NEXT ONE ALREADY GONE You chased it down and held it like an answer to a prayer But answers never seem to fill the space that brought you there You told yourself the next one had a different kind of weight But hunger doesn't care about the thing it's pointing at You built a life around the getting and the having and the more Never stopped to ask yourself what you were building it all for And even now you feel it — that familiar pull begin Same road Same hunger Same empty place within Same road Same hunger You're already gone again EVERY TIME I GOT THE THING I THOUGHT WOULD DO IT IT WASN'T WHAT YOU THOUGHT STOOD THERE WITH IT IN MY HANDS AND BARELY KNEW IT IT WAS NEVER WHAT YOU THOUGHT AND BEFORE THE FEELING EVEN HAD A NAME YOU WERE ALREADY GONE I WAS ALREADY LOOKING FOR THE NEXT ONE ALREADY GONE (and I went looking) (again) (and again) (and again)

0/500