ROCK SHOW!

ROCK SHOW! YOU CAME TO SEE A ROCK SHOW! PYRITE! MAGNETITE! FELDSPAR! ROCK SHOW! I GOT QUARTZ! I GOT SHALE! I GOT A FUCKING TRILOBITE! ROCK SHOW! ROCK SHOW! FOUR BILLION YEARS OF ROCK SHOW! PRECAMBRIAN! CAMBRIAN! ORDOVICIAN! SILURIAN! DEVONIAN! CARBONIFEROUS! PERMIAN! EVERYBODY DIED! ROCK SHOW! I GOT IGNEOUS! SEDIMENTARY! METAMORPHIC! THAT’S THREE KINDS OF ROCK! THREE! FUCKING! KINDS! ROCK SHOW! GRANITE! BASALT! GNEISS! NICE! SCHIST! HOLY SHIT! ROCK SHOW! TECTONIC PLATES! THEY’RE MOVING! VERY SLOWLY! BUT THEY’RE FUCKING MOVING! SUBDUCTION! CONVECTION! CONTINENTAL DRIFT! ROCK SHOW! TYRANNOSAURUS! NOT A ROCK! BUT WE FOUND HIS ASS IN A ROCK! ROCK SHOW! STEGOSAURUS! ALSO NOT A ROCK! DEAD DINOSAUR! UNDER SOME ROCK! NOW HE’S IN A MUSEUM! NEXT TO A ROCK! ROCK SHOW! I GOT A HAMMER! I GOT A PICK! I GOT A TEN-POWER HAND LENS! I GOT A LITTLE FUCKING BAG WITH NUMBERS ON IT! DON’T TOUCH THAT! THAT’S A SAMPLE! ROCK SHOW! MOHS SCALE! TALC IS ONE! DIAMOND’S TEN! WHAT’S SEVEN? QUARTZ! FUCK YEAH! ROCK SHOW! STALACTITE! HOLDS TIGHT! STALAGMITE! MIGHT REACH THE CEILING IN ABOUT A HUNDRED THOUSAND YEARS! ROCK SHOW! EROSION! DEPOSITION! COMPACTION! CEMENTATION! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU MADE SANDSTONE! ROCK SHOW! MAGMA! UNDERGROUND! LAVA! ABOVE GROUND! SAME HOT SHIT! DIFFERENT LOCATION! ROCK SHOW! THE MANTLE! THE CRUST! THE CORE! THE MOHO! MOHOROVIČIĆ DISCONTINUITY! … FUCK IT! THE MOHO! ROCK SHOW! YOU CAME TO SEE A ROCK SHOW! WE BROUGHT YOU ROCKS! YOU WANTED ROCK! WE BROUGHT YOU ACTUAL FUCKING ROCKS! ROCK SHOW! ROCK SHOW! GEOLOGY! ROCK SHOW!