[INTRO — SPOKEN] Sitting at the laundromat… (Oh, Lord!) Came to wash my clothes… Why everybody acting crazy?! (What is going ON?!) [RIDICULOUS HOOK] Wash it! Dry it! Fold it! HEY! Wash it! Dry it! Fold it! HEY! Put it in the washer— WHO GOT MY SOCK?! Put it in the dryer— WHY THIS THING HOT?! Wash it! Dry it! Fold it! HEY! HEY! Laundromat shenanigans— ALL DAY! (Wash it!) (Dry it!) (Fold it!) HEY! [VERSE 1] Walked in with my laundry bag, quarters in my hand Trying to be responsible, trying to stick to the plan (Okay!) Then somebody starts talking like we grew up together I said, “Ma’am, I don’t know you…” “Girl, let me tell you!” (Here we go!) Machine in the corner jumping like it lost its mind Everybody looking over but nobody pressing rewind (What is THAT?!) It’s shaking to the left— shaking to the right I said, “If that washer walks out, I’m leaving here tonight!” (Bye!) [HOOK] Wash it! Dry it! Fold it! HEY! Wash it! Dry it! Fold it! HEY! Put it in the washer— WHO GOT MY SOCK?! Put it in the dryer— WHY THIS THING HOT?! Wash it! Dry it! Fold it! HEY! HEY! Laundromat shenanigans— ALL DAY! [VERSE 2 — SILLY RAP] One quarter… two quarter… three quarter… four! Machine said “OUT OF ORDER”— I said, “You better not!” (Not today!) Moved to machine number two, somebody watching me I said, “Why you looking?” They said, “Girl, that’s my seat!” (YOUR SEAT?!) Dryer starts spinning, I’m checking every minute My clothes better come out with everything I put in it! (Count it!) One shirt… two shirts… where my other tee? I came here with ten socks— WHY I ONLY GOT THREE?! (THREE?!) [NEW VERSE 3 — THE LAUNDROMAT GOT PERSONAL] Now somebody’s phone ringing— ringing nonstop They answering that phone like they standing on a block (Hello?!) Lady by the vending machine dropping coins on the floor She got down to pick ’em up— dropped some more! (Oh, no!) Somebody brought a blanket bigger than my bed Trying to stuff it in the washer— I said, “Girl, use your head!” (How?!) The dryer starts beeping— BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Everybody looking around like it’s something we should see (What happened?!) I grabbed my laundry basket, I’m ready to escape Then I look down at my clothes— I FORGOT THE FABRIC SOFTENER! (OH, COME ON!) [CHANT BREAK — FAST] Wash it! HEY! Dry it! HEY! Fold it! HEY! Where my sock?! HEY! Check the washer! HEY! Check the dryer! HEY! Check that chair! HEY! WHY IS EVERYBODY LOOKING AT ME?! [BREAKDOWN — SPOKEN] Wait… Hold on… Why is somebody eating a whole meal in the laundromat? (Who brought a plate?!) And why does it smell GOOD?! … I’m hungry now. (Lord, help me.) [FINAL HOOK — BIGGER & CRAZIER] Wash it! Dry it! Fold it! HEY! HEY! Wash it! Dry it! Fold it! HEY! HEY! Put it in the washer— WHO GOT MY SOCK?! Put it in the dryer— WHY THIS THING HOT?! Wash it! HEY! Dry it! HEY! Fold it! HEY! DON’T LOSE MY SOCK! Laundromat! HEY! Shenanigans! HEY! Laundromat! HEY! SHENANIGANS! [OUTRO — SPOKEN] I came in here to wash clothes… I left with clean clothes, three missing socks, somebody’s family history, and now I’m hungry. (Pause.) And I still gotta fold these clothes. … I’m going home. (Girl, you said that two hours ago.) I KNOW! (Wash it!) DON’T START! (Dry it!) I SAID DON’T! (Fold it!) HEY! … Fine. One more load. 😂
