i don’t even know if you’re there anymore …i just keep talking i tried to say it in a way that sounded honest not too much, not too broken, not too obvious like if i kept it small you might let it through like you’d hear me different if i wasn’t me… or you i don’t need a miracle i just need a sign something small enough to say i’m not wasting time if you heard me would you say it or just let me sit in it god don’t text back god don’t reply left me on read in the sky god don’t text back no blue light just my name in the night i keep checking the screen like it owes me a sign like the silence might shift if i give it more time like the sky got a server and i’m stuck in the queue and it’s buffering god but it never comes through and i know how it sounds yeah i hear it myself talking out to the dark like it’s somebody else but i said it out loud so it’s harder to fake and i don’t wanna lose something i didn’t create maybe silence is all that i’m meant to receive maybe faith is just learning to sit with the need maybe i made you up so i wouldn’t feel small gave it a name just to soften the fall i don’t know what’s real i just know that i tried and there’s something in me that won’t let it die if you’re there say something even if it hurts me god don’t text back god don’t reply left me on read in the sky god don’t text back no blue light just my name in the night i know you don’t answer …i know i just— i don’t know where else to put it so i keep saying it like you’re still there like you didn’t leave it open and walk away and i hate that part of me that still waits like— like if i say it one more time you might—
