[Spoken intro — calm, broadcast voice] I’m here to inform you that the tectonic shift has begun. Remain curious. Pressure is within acceptable limits. We have rehearsed this. [Verse 1] When the tectonic shift happens I’ll have my pressure seal When the tectonic shift happens I’ll have my spare gasket When the tectonic shift happens I’ll be chewing shrimp-flavored ration paste When the tectonic shift happens I’ll unfold the emergency futon When the tectonic shift happens I’ll have my pressure seal When the tectonic shift happens I’ll have my spare gasket When the tectonic shift happens I’ll be chewing shrimp-flavored ration paste When the tectonic shift happens I’ll unfold the emergency futon (deadpan, almost proud) [Chorus] And we’ll go up Up Up We’ll go up Up Up We’ll go up Up Up (ascent alarm harmonizing) [Verse 2] When the tectonic shift happens I’ll have my calibrated toothbrush When the tectonic shift happens I’ll pipe music into the shower chamber When the tectonic shift happens I’ll have my pocket calculator of odds When the tectonic shift happens I’ll puree something shelf-stable When the tectonic shift happens I’ll have my calibrated toothbrush When the tectonic shift happens I’ll pipe music into the shower chamber When the tectonic shift happens I’ll have my pocket calculator of odds When the tectonic shift happens I’ll puree something shelf-stable [Chorus] And we’ll go up Up Up We’ll go up Up Up We’ll go up Up Up (someone laughs through a regulator) [Verse 3] When the tectonic shift happens I’ll wear my non-slip sleepwear When the tectonic shift happens I’ll replace the reed in my breathing instrument When the tectonic shift happens I’ll ration five gallons of liquid calm When the tectonic shift happens I’ll sync the tiny speaker to the hull When the tectonic shift happens I’ll wear my non-slip sleepwear When the tectonic shift happens I’ll replace the reed in my breathing instrument When the tectonic shift happens I’ll ration five gallons of calm When the tectonic shift happens I’ll sync the tiny speaker to the hull [Outro — spoken] Do Not Panic
