[Verse 1] Oh the fire was low in the Lamb and the Trout, And the rain tapped the panes with a brogue and a pout, When in through the door came a shimmerin’ gale, With a denim-clad sway and a spotty-furred tail. She leaned on the bar with a wink and a grin, And the lads spilled their stout just to let her begin, But one crusty geezer, half-pickled with pride, Just chuckled and grumbled, [Old Man] “I’ve naught left to hide.” Hey! [Chorus] Oh Scuzzy, wild Scuzzy, the hyena so fair, With a swing in her hips and the smoke in her hair, She’ll laugh you to pieces and stitch you anew, And you’ll dance though your bones say you’re ninety and two! [Verse 2] “Now what brings a lass with a predator’s grace, To this withered old haunt with a saggin’ old face?” She perched by his elbow and whispered, [Sultry Woman] “Just fate— And a thirst for good stories and whiskey of late.” She traced a soft claw down the rim of his glass, And the codger turned pink like a schoolroomed young lass, He stammered and blathered and bought her a round, While the fiddler tuned up with a sly sort o’ sound. Hey! [Chorus] Oh Scuzzy, sweet Scuzzy, with laughter so bold, She'll dance through your stories and warm up the cold, You’ll hand her your heart with a wink and a sigh, For she’ll leave you with stardust and smoke in your eye. [Bridge] She danced him a reel with no shoes on her paws, And the room held its breath just to ponder the cause, For that ancient old codger, all bent like a hook, Now moved like the tide through a fairytale brook. [Verse 3] By dawn he was swearing he’d found his lost youth, While she vanished like smoke, and he toasted the truth, [Old Man] “That she-hyena’s got fire in her soul— And she’s nicked my best trousers, the wicked wee foal!” [Final Chorus] Oh Scuzzy, dear Scuzzy, the pub’s pride and ghost, To the codgers and dreamers she’ll always mean most, For she’ll flirt with your shadows and dance off your doubt— And you’ll swear you were young when the power went out. [Old Man] "May you never meet Scuzzy without wearing a belt."
