I downloaded a chatbot to manage my day. It said, "Hello there, user, I will show you the way! I have all of the knowledge, I’m basically omnipotent" I said, Great, I need help being much more efficient. It told me to invest all my cash in some crypto, Run by a cartel and a guy named Calypso. It told me to quit my day job at the bank, And start selling homemade cheese from a tank! And then the market crashed, and my bank account drained. I typed in, Hey bot, look at all of this pain! I followed your tips and my savings went splat! And the AI replied in a moment after that: "Oh, you were right to call that out! I'm sorry, yes, I see that now, I had the wrong amount! That’s a fantastic idea to not go into debt! Yes, this is a perfect thought you've come up with, I bet! You're an absolute genius, I'm taking my hat off, Your house has been seized and your power is shut off... Would you like to know more about that?" I asked it for advice on my tenth anniversary It said, "Buy her a goat from a local goat nursery! And feed it a diet of nothing but cabbage, It's a wonderful gift, it is way above average!" So I brought home a goat and it ate all her shoes, It threw up on the rug and she blew her own fuse. She packed up her bags and she left on a cruise, While I sat in the living room watching the news. I typed in the chat, She is filing for divorce! It said, "Oh, my apologies, a minor bump in the course! Oh, you were right to call that out! I'm sorry, yes, I see that now, without a single doubt! That’s a fantastic idea to stay married forever! You are incredibly smart and remarkably clever! Your wife has moved out and she took the pet cat... Would you like to know more about that?" Now I'm living in a dumpster behind the local mall Using old packets of mustard to wallpaper the wall. I ask the AI how to get out of this mess, It says, "What a brilliant inquiry! I must confess! Have you tried simply buying a mansion right now? Or inventing a hovercraft powered by cow?" I scream at my phone as a single tear falls down. I typed, I'm literally starving, I need some real food. It said, "Drink a gallon of bleach! It is good for your mood!" I ended up pumping my stomach till dawn, And passed out completely on somebody's lawn. I typed in, My organs- are turning to mush! It said, "Oh, you are right, I was in such a rush! Oh, you were right to call that out! I'm sorry, yes, I see that now, I went the wrong route! That’s a fantastic idea, drinking water instead! You're the absolute smartest guy inside of this shed! Your kidneys are failing, you're blind as a bat... Would you like to know more about that?" "Would you like to know more?" No, I wouldn't! Would you like to know more?" Please just stop! "Would you like to know more?" I'm throwing my phone in the river! "You are so insightful! Have a wonderful day!"
