[Intro — Accordion and Tuba] I came for one beer. That's important. I want that entered into the record. [Brass Hit] One. [Verse 1 — Funky Polka Groove] Walked into the tent around noon. Didn't know what I'd walked into. There's a tuba shaking tables And an accordion cutting loose. Somebody handed me a stein Approximately half my size. I said, "There's no fucking way." He just smiled and said, "Prohst!" [Hard Stop] ...The fuck does that mean? [Accordion Run] [Pre-Chorus] Then everybody raised their glasses. So I figured, what the hell? I raised mine up with everybody— And the whole damn room just yelled! [Chorus — Polka-Punk Explosion] PROHST, YOU BASTARDS! Raise 'em up high! If I gotta drink this whole damn thing, You're drinking yours with mine! PROHST, YOU BASTARDS! Let the whole tent hear! I don't know what the hell they're singing— BUT I KNOW WHEN TO DRINK THE BEER! [Verse 2 — Reggae Pocket] There's sausages and pretzels. There's mustard everywhere. Some dude's wearing leather shorts Like that's completely normal here. I can't pronounce the menu. I quit trying after three. Just point me toward whatever smells good And bring another beer to me. Now everybody's on the benches. Somebody grabbed my hand. They're swaying left. They're swaying right. Apparently I'm in the band. I don't know any of the words, But that's never stopped me yet. So I yell the parts that sound like "HEY!" And drink whenever everybody drinks. [Pre-Chorus — Building] Now the tuba's talking to the bass. The accordion's picking fights. And I don't know how the fuck we got here... But this feels about right. [Chorus] PROHST, YOU BASTARDS! Raise 'em up high! If I gotta drink this whole damn thing, You're drinking yours with mine! PROHST, YOU BASTARDS! Let the whole tent hear! I don't know what the hell they're singing— BUT I KNOW WHEN TO DRINK THE BEER! [Instrumental — Tuba/Funk Bass Tradeoff] [Accordion Solo] [Guitar Answers] [Accordion Answers Back] [Turntable Scratch] [Full Band Hit] [Verse 3 — Half-Rapped Southern Groove] Now it's somehow after sunset. That one beer became a few. I've made six brand-new best friends. Couldn't tell you who is who. One's from Munich. One's from Jersey. One just keeps on yelling, "HEY!" One has challenged me to something That I probably shouldn't play. There's a chicken dance happening. I'm refusing on principle. [Pause] Okay... Apparently I have principles. [Beat Returns] Then the brass starts getting louder. And the drums begin to pound. Somebody screams another "PROHST!" And every glass goes up around. I came here barely knowing What Oktoberfest was for. Now I'm standing on a bench Screaming— "BRING THIS TABLE ONE MORE!" [Chorus — Bigger] PROHST, YOU BASTARDS! Raise 'em up high! If I gotta drink this whole damn thing, You're drinking yours with mine! PROHST, YOU BASTARDS! Let the whole tent hear! I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SINGING— BUT I KNOW WHEN TO DRINK THE BEER! [Bridge — Dub Reggae Breakdown] Now hold on. I have learned some German. [Dub Echo] German... German... [Accordion Stab] "Prohst." [Brass Hit] That's one. [Pause] "Bitte." I think that's another. [Pause] And... [Long Pause] That's pretty much all I've got. [Tuba Hit] But friendship is a universal language. [Pause] So is beer. [Massive Drum Fill] [Final Chorus — Full Beer-Hall Riot] PROHST, YOU BASTARDS! GET 'EM UP HIGH! THE TUBA'S SHAKING HALF THE TENT, THE OTHER HALF IS MINE! PROHST, YOU BASTARDS! LET THE WHOLE WORLD HEAR! I CAME IN HERE FOR ONE DAMN DRINK— NOW I'M CONDUCTING FROM A CHAIR! PROHST, YOU BASTARDS! ACCORDION, TAKE IT AWAY! WE'LL WORRY 'BOUT TOMORROW WHEN TOMORROW GETS HERE ANYWAY! FROM MUNICH DOWN TO JERSEY— IF YOU'RE STANDING WITH US HERE— I DON'T NEED TO KNOW YOUR LANGUAGE TO RAISE ANOTHER BEER! [Instrumental — Frantic Accordion, Brass and Distorted Guitar] [Outro — Exhausted Tuba and Acoustic Guitar] For the record... I still only had one beer. [Pause] It was just refilled... Several times. [Accordion Button]
