[intro] [spoken in a manner that is menacing but polite] -so i said ‘look man, im gonna tell you something about yourself you havent told anyone before. Okay? (Oh kay) [verse 1] [spoken in a serious but restrained voice] When you were a child on long road trips Those endless expanses of time Which were only hours in actuality Staring out the window Out at the side of the road You would envision a man He is dressed in skin tight clothing Spandex or a body suit His eyes are obscured Maybe by goggles Maybe he is always looking away The man is running Performing high speed acrobatics As obstacles arise The suit he wears is either white or black He is tireless and even now You summon memories of him Running (How did you know that? I never told anyone) It is theorized that When you were a child You had not decided what reality was So there were many more things Which could move within it The Running Man is one of them (“WAITRESS? Waitress? Could you please Indulge us for a moment? Have you ever seen a man running next to the car as a child? You have? What did he look like? In a white suit with superhero sunglasses? Thank you.”) You see 80% of people raised in first world countries of at least upper lower class who have travelled longer than an hour on highways at a minimum speed of 30 miles per hour see this exact specific man. The same man. We at the foundation believe that this entity exists on a slightly different vibratory plane of existence with an entirely different relationship with time as the entity has not shown signs of aging in the 50 years we have been monitoring it. Why it chooses to appear to children is under investigation. [sfx: running footsteps and heavy breathing]
