Intro (Record scratch.) "Can you play something good?" He looked offended. --- Verse 1 He opened with techno. Then garage. Then ABBA. Nobody questioned The transition. A girl climbed onto a table Holding two espresso martinis Like she was carrying The Olympic torch. We applauded. It felt appropriate. --- Pre-Chorus One more song. One more line. One more drink. We're doing fine. --- Chorus The DJ owes me an apology. He played my ex's favorite song. Now everybody's dancing And accidentally singing along. The DJ owes me an apology. He looked me dead in the eye. Then dropped the chorus Twice as loud Like it was personal. --- Verse 2 Someone passed around MDMA Like after-dinner mints. A bloke in a silk shirt Offered cocaine Using the phrase, "Complimentary confidence." Marketing degree, Probably. Lucy disappeared Behind the speakers. She came back With the DJ's headphones. Nobody asked How negotiations went. --- Instrumental Break (Massive synth arpeggio. Angular guitars stab through the beat. Gang vocals chant: "REWIND! REWIND!" while the kick pounds relentlessly.) --- Verse 3 At half past three The smoke machine Simply refused to stop. The lasers pointed At absolutely everyone Except the dance floor. Dave started hugging A cardboard cutout Advertising tequila. Honestly... It was the healthiest relationship He'd had all year. --- Bridge I requested Something slower. He played it Even faster. That's between us now. --- Final Chorus The DJ owes me an apology. My feet have resigned. My phone says It's Sunday. I strongly Disagree. The DJ owes me an apology. But I'll forgive him Next weekend. Right after He plays The same song Again. --- Outro (The music cuts to silence. A microphone clicks on.) "Thank you." "You're all terrible." The crowd cheers anyway.
