The (Retail) Horrors of Halloween (Remix)

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Welcome to the shift.  
Clock in.  
Clock out.  
Clock back in.  
The mannequins are watching.  
The clearance bin is bottomless.  
And hope is almost dead.

I wear a smile stitched from polyester thread,  
A name tag etched in rust,  
My costume’s a corporate Frankenstein:  
Devil horns, elf shoes, and a pumpkin vest.  
They say “festive,”  
I say “possessed.”

They come in packs.  
They shriek.  
They demand.  
They drip glitter and rage.  
“Where’s the 70% off?”  
“Why is this candy stale?”  
“Can you check the back?”  
The back is a void.  
I checked.  
It stared back.

Retail horrors of Halloween,  
Where the aisles twist like haunted dreams.  
The shelves collapse, the lights flicker red,  
And every “BOO!” is corporate dread.  
I’m trapped in a maze of plastic bones,  
Haunted by ringtone ghosts and moans.  
The scariest thing I’ve ever seen?  
A mother with coupons and caffeine.

I saw a child bite a skeleton.  
I saw a man scream at a fog machine.  
I saw myself in the mirror —  
Looking like the walking dead.  
But it's not a costume... 
Not today... 
Not today.

The speaker plays Monster Mash on loop.  
It’s been 9 hours.  
I’ve aged 12 years.  
A clown asked me for directions.  
I pointed to the exit.  
He laughed.  
For me there is no exit.

Retail horrors of Halloween,  
Where the cobwebs cling to my dopamine.  
The candy’s cursed, the costumes scream,  
And every aisle is a fever dream.  
I fear the jingles in the distance,  
The peppermint breath of Christmas resistance.  
Halloween’s just the warning bell —  
The real horror’s in the sleigh from hell.

Clock out.  
Clock in.  
Clock out.  
Clock back in.  
The mannequins are smiling now.  
The clearance bin swallowed my soul.  
And hope is dead.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Personal experience? Maybe, lol.

If you have spent any time working in retail, you will know the true horror of Halloween, is that it bleeds immediately into Xmas. Once the fake cobwebs and the pumpkins disappear from sight, they are replaced by a far more haunting terror! Xmas shopping season!! The horror!!!

Thankfully, I don't have to deal with that kind of thing these days, and I tend to want to keep as far away from it as possible. But to all of those still stuck behind counters and dealing with monsters (all year round), I salute you!

2307/7500

Welcome to the shift. Clock in. Clock out. Clock back in. The mannequins are watching. The clearance bin is bottomless. And hope is almost dead. I wear a smile stitched from polyester thread, A name tag etched in rust, My costume’s a corporate Frankenstein: Devil horns, elf shoes, and a pumpkin vest. They say “festive,” I say “possessed.” They come in packs. They shriek. They demand. They drip glitter and rage. “Where’s the 70% off?” “Why is this candy stale?” “Can you check the back?” The back is a void. I checked. It stared back. Retail horrors of Halloween, Where the aisles twist like haunted dreams. The shelves collapse, the lights flicker red, And every “BOO!” is corporate dread. I’m trapped in a maze of plastic bones, Haunted by ringtone ghosts and moans. The scariest thing I’ve ever seen? A mother with coupons and caffeine. I saw a child bite a skeleton. I saw a man scream at a fog machine. I saw myself in the mirror — Looking like the walking dead. But it's not a costume... Not today... Not today. The speaker plays Monster Mash on loop. It’s been 9 hours. I’ve aged 12 years. A clown asked me for directions. I pointed to the exit. He laughed. For me there is no exit. Retail horrors of Halloween, Where the cobwebs cling to my dopamine. The candy’s cursed, the costumes scream, And every aisle is a fever dream. I fear the jingles in the distance, The peppermint breath of Christmas resistance. Halloween’s just the warning bell — The real horror’s in the sleigh from hell. Clock out. Clock in. Clock out. Clock back in. The mannequins are smiling now. The clearance bin swallowed my soul. And hope is dead. AUTHOR'S NOTE: Personal experience? Maybe, lol. If you have spent any time working in retail, you will know the true horror of Halloween, is that it bleeds immediately into Xmas. Once the fake cobwebs and the pumpkins disappear from sight, they are replaced by a far more haunting terror! Xmas shopping season!! The horror!!! Thankfully, I don't have to deal with that kind of thing these days, and I tend to want to keep as far away from it as possible. But to all of those still stuck behind counters and dealing with monsters (all year round), I salute you!

0/500