[Intro: orchestral fanfare, triumphant brass, rolling timpani, comic-opera choir swelling like a royal proclamation] [Male Tenor] Behold! The humble sausage! [Chorus: grand comic opera, full choir, bright brass stabs, marching snare underneath, theatrical tenor lead] Who will buy my sausages They're all made from pork You won't get the same From a knife and fork [Pre-Chorus: vaudeville bounce, pizzicato strings, cheeky bassoon, cabaret piano walking upward] In the morning when you're yawning And you feel a little frail You'll get your strength From the length of a Cumberland coil [Chorus: bigger orchestral reprise, choir answers each line, cymbal crashes on “blue” and “joie de vivre”] Who will buy my sausages When you're feeling blue Try a ring of black pudding To bring back your joie de vivre [Verse: baroque pop patter section, harpsichord, brushed snare, clarinet flourishes, fast comic-opera delivery] Sausages have many uses From gourmet cuisine to packed lunches Some are wrapped in a croissant Some are speared on a toothpick Some are dunked in a cheese fondue You can batter them in beer You can grill 'em on the barbecue Serve them in a bun With relish or sauce Boil them in water And a cup of vinegar A casserole with beans And a bed of mashed potato In a summer salad With fresh tomatoes [Pre-Chorus: smoky cabaret, accordion, low strings, tenor turns conspiratorial before the choir bursts in] Oh Don't forget that chorizo You need that spicy sausage When you want that smoky flavor With paprika and garlic [Chorus: orchestral rock lift, electric guitar power chords under opera choir, marching band brass, absurdly heroic] Sausages have many uses From gourmet cuisine to packed lunches And my motto is USE YOUR SAUSAGE [Bridge: mock-serious grand opera recitative, solo tenor over tremolo strings and timpani murmurs] When the pantry looks defeated When the supper bell has lied When the guests arrive at seven And the soufflé's gone and died There remains one sacred answer In a casing, proud and true Raise it high above the table Let the mustard come to you [Final Chorus: full ensemble, choir, brass, cymbals, baroque strings racing underneath, huge theatrical finish] Who will buy my sausages They're all made from pork You won't get the same From a knife and fork Sausages have many uses From gourmet cuisine to packed lunches And my motto is USE YOUR SAUSAGE [Outro: vaudeville march collapses into cabaret vamp, comic spoken-sung tenor, choir punctuates each “sausage”] It's an answer to everything When you want to serve your family Give 'em sausage When you're watching television Eat a sausage When you get home from the pub Make a sausage When you come back from a night out Have a sausage When you take your dog for a walk And you come back hungry Eat a sausage When you're having a romantic evening And you wanna show your affection Cook a sausage When you're gonna propose Give her a sausage [Whispered vocals: intimate cabaret close-mic, single harpsichord pluck, distant choir hum] You know it makes sense
