I Got My DD-214, Now Kiss My Ass

[Intro] Today's the fucking day, boys. Paper finally in my hand. Four long years led to this moment— I'm a free and happy man. Hold that motherfucker high. Let 'em know just what it means— I GOT MY DD-TWO FOURTEEN! [Verse 1] First stop's Gunny's office. Got some business to complete. Hands shoved deep inside my pockets, Walking straight across the green. Morning, Gunny, lovely weather. Thought I'd stop so you could see— All those years you owned my ass? NOW YOU CAN KISS IT, I'M FREE! First Sergeant's down the hallway. No more standing at parade rest. Sir, it's truly been an honor... Well, some parts fucking sucked, I guess. Anyway, behold my freedom. Prettiest thing I've ever seen— Wave that paper like a trophy— DD-TWO FUCKING FOURTEEN! [Chorus] DD-TWO FOURTEEN! I'M FINALLY FUCKING FREE! Take your duty, take your field day, Take your fucking reveille! No more Gunny, no more stand-by, No more hurry-up-and-wait! DD-TWO FOURTEEN! KISS MY ASS, I'M OUT THE GATE! [Verse 2] There's a working party forming. Someone hollers, Need one more! I just wave my little freedom sheet And keep marching for the door. Hands in pockets, grass beneath me, Not a fuck left on my plate. Got my seabag in the back seat— I CAN ALMOST SEE THE GATE! Engine running, windows open, One last middle finger raised. Four long years are finally over— BEST FUCKING DAY I'VE EVER— Then I hear somebody yelling. See him running up behind. He's waving some damn paperwork— YOU'VE GOTTA BE OUT YOUR FUCKING MIND. Turns out there's one final signature That Supply says I still need. One damn box ain't fucking checked— SO I AIN'T FUCKING FREE INDEED. [Verse 3] Somewhere on a fucking gear list From a field op long ago, There's some shit they swear they issued That I haven't got to show. Haven't seen the fucking thing since God knows where or God knows when. Supply won't sign until I find it— SO I'M FUCKING OWNED AGAIN. Now I make that walk back slowly Past the people I just blessed. Gunny sees me through his doorway With that grin I fucking detest. First Sergeant starts out laughing. Working party waves with glee. Ten minutes after telling everyone— KISS MY ASS, I'M FUCKING FREE! [Chorus] DD-TWO FOURTEEN... I WAS BRIEFLY FUCKING FREE. Told the whole damn chain of command Exactly what they meant to me. Now I'm tearing through my wall locker While they're laughing at my fate. DD-TWO FOURTEEN... I ALMOST MADE IT OUT THE GATE. [Verse 4] Checked my wall locker twice now. That damn gear was nowhere there. Then I looked across the barracks— SOME POOR BASTARD HAD A SPARE. There's one thief in the Marine Core. That's what every Marine knows. The rest of us just find our own shit WHEREVER OUR OWN FUCKING SHIT GOES. So I liberated my equipment From its temporary home. Some other Marine can go and find his— THAT'S A PROBLEM OF HIS OWN. Ran that bastard into Supply. Got the signature I need. Grabbed my keys and grabbed my paperwork— NOW I'M FUCKING CLEARED TO LEAVE! No more victory lap around here. I ain't tempting fucking fate. Started driving like the Core might CHANGE ITS FUCKING MIND AT THE GATE! [Final Chorus] DD-TWO FOURTEEN! NOW I'M REALLY FUCKING FREE! Take your duty, take your field day, Take your fucking reveille! Keep your stand-by, keep your formations, Keep your hurry-up-and-wait! DD-TWO FOURTEEN! KISS MY ASS, I'M THROUGH THE GATE! No more Gunny! No more duty! No more fucking working parties! Put that base behind my ass— I GOT MY DD-TWO FOURTEEN! NOW KISS MY ASS! [Outro] Didn't stop and didn't wave. Didn't give the Core one more damn day. Freedom paper in my hand— I'M FINALLY FREE OF UNCLE SAM! No more stand-by. No more plans. No more bullshit second chance. Hit the highway, hit the gas— I GOT MY DD-TWO FOURTEEN... NOW KISS MY ASS!