By My Own Design

I’ve been dragging this weight in my ribs, Like someone forged a storm into my frame. Keep saying I’m steady, I’m fine But my pulse misfires when I speak my name. I don’t hate you… I just hate the way I carved myself small To survive your weather. Now every step feels unstable again. You cling to the version of me Who never lets the cracks be seen. But I’m sinking in the quiet, And you walk past like it’s clean. I'm trying to keep my body together, but these days cut deeper than breath can hold. I'm done hiding all this damage done bleeding just to fit your mold. I can’t pretend I'm unbreakable anymore. I kept the promises you burned through, Folded them tight behind my ribs Layer by layer until I vanished. The cruelest part? I thought I earned every bruise. Thought the ache was proof I still existed at all. I’ve been begging for one real word, But your comfort always drags its feet. I’m tired of stitching my chest back shut Just to tear again at the seam. I'm not a monument for you to carve when the truth doesn’t match your scene. I'm not the quiet you keep rewriting, NOT THE WEIGHT YOU DROP ON ME. IF I SHATTER I SHATTER BY MY OWN DESIGN, NOT YOUR HANDS, NOT YOUR NEED. I'm trying to keep my body together, but these days cut deeper than breath can hold. I'm done hiding all this damage done bleeding just to fit your mold. I can’t pretend I'm unbreakable anymore. Maybe healing isn’t gentle, Maybe it tears before it ties. Maybe I had to lose the surface Just to see what lived inside. If pain was my foundation, I’m learning there’s more beneath A quiet pulse that keeps returning Even when everything else leaves.