Axes Swing (The Barbarian Christmas Song)

[intro music] [Verse 1] Dashing through the snow, With an axe in either hand, Over goblins’ heads we go, They don’t stand a chance! Bells on helmets ring, As kobolds start to flee, Crampus stole the Christmas gifts, But he won’t get past me! [Chorus] Axes swing, heads will fling, Barbarian saves the day! Fists go crack, the toys come back, And Crampus runs away! Hey! Axes swing, chaos brings, Christmas cheer, hooray! Barbarian saves Christmas night, And rides the sleigh today! [Verse 2] Up to Santa’s shop, The bandits held the fort, Toys turned into traps, This ain’t your normal sport! A candy cane greatsword, Was lifted in the air, I sent those goons to the naughty list, And smashed their evil lair! [Chorus] Axes swing, heads will fling, Barbarian saves the day! Fists go crack, the toys come back, And Crampus runs away! Hey! Axes swing, chaos brings, Christmas cheer, hooray! Barbarian saves Christmas night, And rides the sleigh today! [Bridge] Crampus stood his ground, His claws as sharp as ice, But I just grinned and charged ahead, And knocked him out—real nice! The sleigh was mine to take, With reindeer on the line, I grumbled, “Fine, I’ll save the day!” And tossed the gifts in time! [Final Chorus] Axes swing, songs they sing, Barbarian flies away! Through the night, he wins the fight, And saves the holiday! Hey! Axes swing, children cling, To presents bright and gay, The Berserker grumbles, “Ho, ho, ho!” And drinks his ale today! [outro music] [Outro – Spoken in a deep Barbarian voice] "Next year… someone else does this."