Handcrafted Artisanal Slop - Sunny Side Eye | A Funny Song About AI Content

[Verse 1] Before the robots came around We made our nonsense slow Homegrown takes and shaky cams With nowhere else to go We wrote captions in the kitchen Shot the video in socks Posted seven blurry pictures And called it “content drops” There were blogs about our breakfast There were podcasts with no plot There were six-minute intros Before we got to what we thought So when somebody says “AI has ruined everything we’ve got” I just smile and raise a glass To handcrafted artisanal slop [Chorus] Handcrafted artisanal slop Made with love around the clock Locally sourced opinions From a guy with a ring light and a thought Organic, free-range content Freshly harvested on the spot Don’t blame the robots, darling We invented slop [Verse 2] We had clickbait before chatbots We had gurus before code We had “TEN THINGS YOU MUST KNOW” Before machines could overload We had thumbnails with red arrows We had faces shocked and wide We had “THIS CHANGED MY WHOLE LIFE” When it mostly changed the title We had morning-routine videos From a man who wakes at four Who apparently drinks celery And has never been bored We had hustle bros explaining How to hustle while you mop This was human craftsmanship Premium artisanal slop [Chorus] Handcrafted artisanal slop Made with love around the clock Small-batch misinformation With a tasteful little crop Farm-to-feed engagement With a sponsor at the top Don’t blame the robots, darling We invented slop [Post-Chorus] No preservatives No automation Just pure human Overcommunication [Verse 3] Now AI can make it faster Sure, I’ll give you that It can turn one weak opinion Into fourteen kinds of chat It can write a motivational quote And put it on a beach It can make a hundred captions Saying basically the same thing each But somewhere in a basement In the year two-thousand-nine A man was filming part seven Of “My Thoughts on Being Fine” No algorithm asked him No machine was in the shop Just a dream A webcam And some artisanal slop [Bridge - mock serious] We honor the pioneers The blurry thumbnails The echoey bedrooms The eight-minute introductions The inspirational Facebook graphics with sunsets behind the words The blogs titled: “Why I’m Quitting Social Media” posted directly to social media We stand on the shoulders of giants Poorly lit giants [Beat kicks back in] [Final Chorus] Handcrafted artisanal slop Made with love around the clock Now the bots can make it quicker But they didn’t build the shop Humans brought the chaos AI just made it pop So don’t blame the robots, darling We invented slop [Outro] Small batch Human made Slightly unhinged Beautifully displayed And if you liked this song Please subscribe Apparently we’re part of the problem too