Marching Cat Boys

[Intro — Wobbly Trumpet Only] [Bwaaah... bwaaah...] [Bwaaah-waaaah... bwaaah...] [Trumpet sounds tired] [Governor Rise, standing on a round rock] “Hello, ladies and gentlemen—” [Microphone dies] [Tap... tap... tap...] “Hello?” [Tap... tap...] “Fine.” [He looks at the band] “Marching Cat Boys!” [Trumpet suddenly blasts] [Verse 1] This morning I was standing here, On The Wook Avenue, I don't remember getting dressed, But somehow I have a hat on too. Red coat, gold stripe, shiny pin, My face is on my chest, I tried to read the little badge, But my belly said, “Breakfast.” JayerOne was supposed to lead us, That hoodie cat with sleepy eyes, He disappeared before the first note, Probably hiding from the sunrise. We waited twenty minutes, Then we waited twenty more, The Wook came carrying a baton, Nobody asked what for. [Pre-Chorus — Bouncy Marching Groove] So come on, cats, just move your paws, Don't ask questions, there are no laws! If the drum goes pa-pa-pam, You go pa-pa-pam! If the trumpet goes bwaaah-bwaaah, You go “MEOW!” If you don't know where we're going— [Cat shrugs] Neither do I. [Chorus — Extremely Catchy] MARCHING CAT BOYS! MEOW-MEOW! PAM-PAM! MARCHING CAT BOYS! I CAN'T STOP! HUNGRY CAT! SWEATY CAT! DRUM IN FRONT! FISH IN MY HEAD! MARCHING CAT BOYS! MEOW-MEOW! PAM-PAM! I SHOULD STOP! [Beat] BUT I CAN'T! [Group] MEOW-MEOW! PAM-PAM! MEOW-MEOW! PAM-PAM! [Cat] I CAN'T STOP! [Verse 2] The Wook has a giant tail, So we put him at the front, Nobody knew how to conduct, So he waved the stick at random. Straight road. Left corner. Right corner. Tiny hill. Then the road became a staircase. Nobody built it. We kept marching still. My paws were getting slippery, My socks were full of rain, I asked the saxophone for a snack, It played a B-flat again. Governor Rise was on an elephant, Vlogging with a grin, The elephant looked embarrassed, But Rise kept zooming in. [Pre-Chorus — More Bouncy] Pa-pam-pam, keep walking, Bwaaah-bwaaah, keep talking, If your hat falls off, ignore it, If your tail gets stepped on, roar it! The road is hot, My stomach's louder, The elephant just sneezed— [Elephant sneeze] [Cat] Bless you. [Bridge — Sudden Stop] We finally reached the end. I was ready to lie down. Then Governor Rise jumped up. “ONE MILLION VIEWS!” [Band freezes] “IN THREE HOUR!” [He points at the road] “TURN AROUND!” [Silence] [The Wook slowly looks at Governor Rise] “No.” [Governor Rise smiles] “Yes.” [The Wook looks at his baton] [He snaps it across his knee] “Why am I here?” [The Wook walks away] [Long silence] [One drum] ...pam. [Another drum] ...pam. [Cat] My paws are moving by themselves. [Chorus — Full Band] MARCHING CAT BOYS! MEOW-MEOW! PAM-PAM! MARCHING CAT BOYS! I CAN'T STOP! HUNGRY CAT! SWEATY CAT! DRUM IN FRONT! FISH IN MY HEAD! MARCHING CAT BOYS! MEOW-MEOW! PAM-PAM! I SHOULD STOP! [Beat] BUT I CAN'T! [Group] MEOW-MEOW! PAM-PAM! MEOW-MEOW! PAM-PAM! [Cat] WHO SAID TURN AROUND?! [Governor Rise] I DID! [Cat] WHY?! [Governor Rise] ONE MILLION VIEWS! [Cat] ...oh. [Instrumental Break — Trumpet, Saxophone, Violin, Bouncy Drums, Lazy Bass] [Bwaaah-bwaaah...] [Lazy bass drags behind the groove] [Violin scratches out a mischievous melody] [Drums keep marching] [Final Chorus — Completely Unhinged] MARCHING CAT BOYS! MEOW-MEOW! PAM-PAM! MARCHING CAT BOYS! I CAN'T STOP! HOT PAWS! EMPTY BELLY! SOMEBODY GIVE ME SOMETHING JELLY! [Band] WHAT?! [Cat] I DON'T KNOW! [Band] KEEP MARCHING! [Cat] I'M HUNGRY! [Band] KEEP MARCHING! [Cat] I'M WET! [Band] KEEP MARCHING! [Cat] I'M CONFUSED! [Band] KEEP MARCHING! [Cat] I CAN'T STOP! [Band] WE KNOW! [Cat] MARCHING CAT BOYS! [Band] MEOW-MEOW! PAM-PAM! [Cat] MARCHING CAT BOYS! [Band] MEOW-MEOW! PAM-PAM! [Cat] WHO'S THE CONDUCTOR?! [Band] NOBODY! [Cat] WHERE'S THE WOOK?! [Band] GONE! [Cat] WHERE'S JAYERONE?! [Silence] [Very distant laughter] “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...” [Cat freezes] ...That laugh. [Drum] ...pam. [Cat] JayerOne. [Cat looks around] “Where are you?!” [Silence] [Drums suddenly explode back in] MARCHING CAT BOYS! [Everyone] MEOW-MEOW! PAM-PAM! [Cat] I'M GOING HOME! [Drum continues] [Cat] ...after this song. [Final Drum Hit] [BAM!] [Trumpet gives one last lazy squeak] [Bwaaah...]