Casting Out My Heart by Location To My Heart

[Verse]
Dreams from Azazel got me inside out,
Had me turning pale.
Like the truth he showed me,
It didn’t resonate,
But somehow hit the nail.

Pushed me on my back in the chair,
Feet strapped up in the air.
Momma’s gripping on my arm,
Holding it away from me,
Like she’s scared it’ll fucking fail.
Infection from Dad’s blessings,
Cartel-like lessons,
Pain passed down like a family profession.

Rag over my mouth,
Water filling up my lungs,
I’m fighting just to breathe
While they’re asking what I’ve done.
While they question why I didn’t
Turn out like their daughter,
Like I’m some failed experiment
They forgot to finish proper.

I can’t give ’em the answer,
So I’m barred from more lessons.
No more questions, no more warnings,
Just another fucking sentence.
Then I’m choking for some oxygen,
Trying to pull it through my chest,
And I see the ones I love
In the middle of a fucking exorcism.

They’re fighting with a demon
That they desperately want out,
And somehow I’m the demon
They’re all trying to cast out.
Tired of the couch potato,
From coach to detective,
From the victim to offensive,
Everybody changing roles
Just to force the same objective.

They’ll do anything to reach it,
Anything to get the outcome.
Then Dad looks me in the eyes like,
“Out, son.
I cast the demon outta you.
And you outta this house, yes.”
Yuh.

[Verse]
Now the walls got mouths,
And the ceiling knows my name.
Every shadow wears a face,
Every face becomes a frame.
I can hear the old commandments
Still rattling in my skull,
“Break the boy before the darkness
Makes the boy become too whole.”

So I learned to hide the pieces
That they swore were fucking wrong,
Turned my anger into scripture,
Turned my silence into song.
If the demon is my bloodline,
Then the bloodline made the beast.
Now they’re praying for my death
While pretending it’s a feast.

Azazel in the doorway,
Smiling like he knows the cost.
Says, “They never tried to save you,
They were trying to save themselves from loss.”
And I’m staring at the mirror
Trying to figure out who lied,
Was the devil ever inside me,
Or was he standing by my side?

And suddenly I understand
What all the fucking lessons meant:
They weren’t trying to find me.
They were trying to make me repent.

Self-harm and self-destruction
Passed down through the young.
Casting out the darkness
They said was in our blood.
But the more they tried to cleanse me,
The more they tore me apart.
Maybe they weren’t casting out a demon,
Maybe they were casting out my heart.

2496/7500

[Verse] Dreams from Azazel got me inside out, Had me turning pale. Like the truth he showed me, It didn’t resonate, But somehow hit the nail. Pushed me on my back in the chair, Feet strapped up in the air. Momma’s gripping on my arm, Holding it away from me, Like she’s scared it’ll fucking fail. Infection from Dad’s blessings, Cartel-like lessons, Pain passed down like a family profession. Rag over my mouth, Water filling up my lungs, I’m fighting just to breathe While they’re asking what I’ve done. While they question why I didn’t Turn out like their daughter, Like I’m some failed experiment They forgot to finish proper. I can’t give ’em the answer, So I’m barred from more lessons. No more questions, no more warnings, Just another fucking sentence. Then I’m choking for some oxygen, Trying to pull it through my chest, And I see the ones I love In the middle of a fucking exorcism. They’re fighting with a demon That they desperately want out, And somehow I’m the demon They’re all trying to cast out. Tired of the couch potato, From coach to detective, From the victim to offensive, Everybody changing roles Just to force the same objective. They’ll do anything to reach it, Anything to get the outcome. Then Dad looks me in the eyes like, “Out, son. I cast the demon outta you. And you outta this house, yes.” Yuh. [Verse] Now the walls got mouths, And the ceiling knows my name. Every shadow wears a face, Every face becomes a frame. I can hear the old commandments Still rattling in my skull, “Break the boy before the darkness Makes the boy become too whole.” So I learned to hide the pieces That they swore were fucking wrong, Turned my anger into scripture, Turned my silence into song. If the demon is my bloodline, Then the bloodline made the beast. Now they’re praying for my death While pretending it’s a feast. Azazel in the doorway, Smiling like he knows the cost. Says, “They never tried to save you, They were trying to save themselves from loss.” And I’m staring at the mirror Trying to figure out who lied, Was the devil ever inside me, Or was he standing by my side? And suddenly I understand What all the fucking lessons meant: They weren’t trying to find me. They were trying to make me repent. Self-harm and self-destruction Passed down through the young. Casting out the darkness They said was in our blood. But the more they tried to cleanse me, The more they tore me apart. Maybe they weren’t casting out a demon, Maybe they were casting out my heart.

0/500