possum preacher exorcism

[INTRO — slurred, suspicious sermon] Ain’t sayin’ I’m cursed... Just sayin’ that possum’s holdin’ a Bible backwards. And he been starin’ at me like he already knows my sins. That ain’t a good sign. [VERSE 1 — loose, half-sung storytelling] He crawled out the kudzu in a crooked white tie Green little eyes underneath a moonlit sky Said, “Boy, you been dabblin’ where you don’t belong” Then hissed “amen” through a banjo song I said, “Preacher, I just smoked with a lizard last week” He slapped my aura with a possum squeak Said, “That explains why your spirit smells strange” Then drew three circles while the swamp lights changed He said, “Kneel down, son.” I said, “Why?” He said, “Because the possum already did.” I looked down. He was right. [HOOK — crooked revival chant] Shake that curse, shake that thang Water’s blessed but it tastes like rain He circlin’ clockwise, tail in the air Screamin’ “REPENT!” at my lawn-chair prayer Shake that curse, shake that thang Something crawlin’ underneath my brain I said, “Preacher, what you gonna do?” He said, “Boy, I’m gonna let the swamp decide for you.” [RAP VERSE 1 — rhythmic, increasingly frantic] Possum preachin’ hard like a woodland priest Swingin’ sage like a funky beast Tried to bless me, I sneezed three times Now my shadow speaks in porcupine rhymes He said, “Confess, boy, what you been sippin’?” I said, “Moonshine dreams and a crawdad vision” He said, “That ain’t the worst of it, son.” I said, “What is?” He said, “You invited one.” I said, “Invited who?” He pointed at my chest Somethin’ knocked from the inside I said, “That seems bad.” He said, “It is.” Then my shadow whispered, “Preacher...” He said, “Don’t answer that.” [VERSE 2 — eerie, sincere, increasingly absurd] He drew a circle with a crawfish claw Quoted scripture from a swamp grimoire I kneeled down on a beer-soaked leaf Possum shouted, “THIS HERE’S SPIRIT GRIEF!” Then the cattails started whisperin’ my name Every frog in the water started playin’ the same game The moon hung low and the whole swamp spun Possum raised his Bible and said, “Here it comes.” Something cold went crawlin’ up my spine My left boot started preachin’ about the end of time I looked at him, he looked at me He said, “Son, that ain’t possession.” I said, “What is it?” He said, “Tuesday.” [RAP VERSE 2 — slower, gravelly, ominous] He baptized my boots in sweet-tea foam Told me demons pay rent in my motorhome Every possum verse hit heavy like doom Now my soul echo in a washboard room Tried to flee but the reeds start clappin’ Preacher possum start spirit-snappin’ He slapped my forehead with a pickle jar Said, “The Lord knows exactly where you are.” I said, “Can the Lord see me?” He said, “Son, so can I.” Then three possums rose up and started harmonizin’. One had a tambourine. One had a shovel. One just kept whisperin’: “Trouble... trouble... trouble...” [INSTRUMENTAL BREAK — possessed swamp revival] [BRIDGE — intimate, mock-spiritual whisper] He said, “Your mind’s a bingo hall of sin.” I said, “Then roll them bones, Uncle Grin.” He said, “You got a demon in your soul.” I said, “Which one?” He said, “The one that won’t sit still.” I said, “Can you get it out?” He looked toward the swamp. Then looked back at me. He said, “Probably.” [FINAL HOOK — full-band swamp revival] Shake that curse, shake that thang Possum preach till the cicadas sang If I live, I’ll sin again But Lord have mercy on this swamp-bound man Shake that curse, shake that thang Something holy got a possum fang He waved that Bible, blessed my shoes Said, “You ain’t possessed, boy.” I said, “Then what’s wrong with me?” He said, “Nothing the swamp can’t fix.” [OUTRO — exhausted whisper, half-laugh] He stole my lighter... But left me salvation in a sardine tin. I opened it. There was a little note inside. It said: “See you Sunday.” I said, “Preacher, what time?” Somethin’ in the bushes answered: “Already started.” And the possum laughed.