[Intro: a drop-D groove riff and pounding drums] [Verse 1: tight baritone, way too calm] I was four minutes late, I could see the car from the coffee line Orange envelope tucked under the wiper like a love note from the city The meter ate three quarters, and it blinked expired the whole time And the guy on the little scooter gave a wave, polite and pretty [Hook: exploding into a full-throated scream-sing] I'm fine, I'm totally fine I'm a hundred-dollar fine on a windshield in the rain I'm fine, I'm totally fine Somebody hold my coffee, I'm completely, totally sane [Verse 2: calm again, the riff getting heavier underneath] I'm breathing like the app says, in for four and out for eight I'm picturing a quiet beach, the beach has meters, I'm already late I'm counting down from ten the way my therapist taught me to I'm at minus forty one, and I'm still counting, how 'bout you? [Hook] I'm fine, I'm totally fine I'm a hundred-dollar fine on a windshield in the rain I'm fine, I'm totally fine Somebody hold my coffee, I'm completely, totally sane [Verse 3: tight, the drums pounding on every word] Called the city line, a recording said my call was very dear Forty minutes of a flute song, then a click, then nothing there Wrote the mayor a letter, very civil, very short, very sincere It just said "fine" a hundred times in capitals, signed with care [Bridge: half the band falls out, bass and one ringing chord, voice dangerously quiet] I'm fine about the rent, and I'm fine about my back I'm fine my ex is marrying a dentist named Jack I'm fine the plant died, I'm fine the landlord hiked I'm fine the little scooter guy is writing up my bike [Riff: the whole band slams into a half-time groove, heavier than anything before] [Final Hook: the biggest scream-sing] I'm fine, I'm fucking fine I'm a hundred-dollar fine and a forty-dollar tow I'm fine, I'm the calmest man alive Somebody hold my coffee, and nobody let me go [Outro: one last chord ringing, then the calm baritone, alone] Totally fine [End]
