So… there was this one time at a barbecue… And well, it went something like this… Warning: Do not try this at home… or anywhere, really… unless you’re a professional! Last time I touched the wacky baccy Thought I was cool, thought I was savvy Mixed it up with whiskey bravery Yeah… that combo humbled me Strong stuff rolling ‘round the crew Someone said, “You’ll be fine, just two” Next thing I’m pale as winter snow Sweating like I ran a marathon show Blaze it up, oh no, not me Head in a diamond chalice, dignity gone free Blaze it up, what have I done? Eyes shut tight but I’m still having fun Whitey world spinning round But I’m still the funniest guy in town Blaze it up, I think I’m done… (Never again… somebody turn down the sun!) Out my body, floating high Watching myself like That guy’s fried Hear the lads playing football outside Pass to me! I’m open! - PPRRRAAAA Reality check, it’s kinda bleak I’m horizontal on a sun lounger seat Eyes closed shut, can’t even stand But mentally I’m Mbappé in demand Room’s doing laps like Formula One Someone get me water… "not rum" Why am I narrating my own collapse? Ladies and gents… observe the relapse! Chorus Blaze it up, that was the night My dignity took a flight Blaze it up, lesson learned Respect the green or you’ll get burned Spinning sky, ego cracked Still delivering punchlines intact Blaze it up, I’ll sit this one out (Never again… and hydrate… without a doubt) Thought I was fearless, thought I was brave Turns out I just needed Gatorade Saw my soul leave for a quick vacation Came back with mild dehydration Diamond chalice, royal disgrace Looked like a king who lost the race But even mid-collapse I swear The jokes were landing everywhere Blaze it up, crowd goes wild Hero to zero in half a mile Blaze it up, I took the L Mixed the devil’s lettuce with a wishing well Spinning world, ego fried But comedy never truly died Blaze it up, that was my peak… (Never again… at least this week) Pass to me, I’m open! (No you’re not…) Pass to me, I’m open! (You’re on a sun lounger, bro.) I'm such a Fucking Idiot!
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