Not everyone has a crush on Sabrina Carpenter Like not everyone watched the press conference when Trump said Not everyone listens to Limp Bizkit on the treadmill And not everyone wears the tuxedo shirt at weddings Not everyone saw Oprah's favorite things Like not everyone has hit a stand-up triple off Jeff Bezos in full-contact wiffle ball Not everyone went on stage with Barry Manilow in a banana suit And not everyone was at Burning Man for the first time ever Not everyone watches Lifetime Channel movies all September long Like not everyone enjoys a good old-fashioned hand job Not everyone goes to Halloween as Sybok from Star Trek Five And not everyone was a finalist on Jeopardy Not everyone saw the Dave Chappelle skit about Crack Like not everyone sings to Bobby McFerrin when they're doing karaoke Not everyone wears their sweater vest with a black T-shirt underneath And not everyone reads about neoliberalism Not everyone knows someone who's run for President Like not everyone saw Super Bowl five Not everyone wears Lululemon to work And not everyone cried when Old Yeller died Not everyone remembers Y-2-K Like not everyone watches Johnny Quest on Adult Swim Not everyone has a Stanley Tucci tattoo And not everyone has been arrested in Hawaii Not everyone was the valedictorian of their class Like not everyone has been a Suppressive Person Not everyone bought a diesel at the wrong time And not everyone still checks their A-O-L messages Not everyone drank kombucha before it was cool Like not everyone owns a neon Cybertruck and a guilty conscience Not everyone lost a shoe at the Swap Meet And not everyone thinks farts are funny Not everyone claps when the opera ends Like not everyone cried during The Iron Giant Not everyone joined a book club just to meet someone And not everyone still has their dad’s old vinyl copy of "KISS: Alive!" Not everyone keeps a secret Pay Pal account Like not everyone orders sourdough because of a gluten allergy Not everyone thinks it’s ironic anymore And not everyone knows what they meant to say in twenty nineteen Not everyone got fired from their dream job on the weekend Like not everyone kissed a manager on an un-locked E-bike Not everyone took their doctor's advice literally And not everyone still texts pictures of their dogs to their last roommate Not everyone fell asleep during The Empire Strikes Back Like not everyone tried micro-dosing for spiritual growth Not everyone stayed to watch the fireworks end And not everyone will remember this part Not everyone will admit that they loved Like not everyone is depressed enough to laugh at themselves Not everyone... but someone probably has. And not everyone made eye contact with a wax figure at Madame Tussauds Not everyone bought the wrong N-F-T and pretended it was art Like not everyone still hums the X-Files theme when they’re alone Not everyone got their heart broken by a "Superior Intelligence" And not everyone bought a Cuisinart because it “looked resilient” Not everyone has an sibling who became famous Like not everyone played bass in a band that never played a gig Not everyone mistook a chatbot for a human And not everyone said “it’s fine” when it totally phucking wasn’t Not everyone still dreams in dial-up tones Like not everyone thinks they could’ve saved Kurt Cobain Not everyone read Infinite Jest; some just carried it around And not everyone bought a giant crystal to feel less haunted Not everyone still checks their horoscope before answering E-mail Like not everyone cried when they meant to laugh Not everyone laughed when they meant to cry And not everyone knows when the curtain’s already fallen. Not everyone cheers when the air comes back on. Like not everyone gets the joke, and that’s coo. Not everyone’s not supposed to. And not everyone has hit a ground-rule double off Mark Zuckerberg in full-contact wiffle ball Not everyone but some keep their punchlines in their pockets. Like not everyone but some leave their hearts in comment sections. Not everyone but some are still waiting for their scene to start. And not everyone knows, but the truth is; Not everyone makes it to the credits. Like not everyone wants to. Not everyone but someone, somewhere hums a song And not about all the A-I ones who didn’t trend, Not everyone didn’t post, didn’t win; and it sounds a lot like silence, but warmer. (You mean not everyone has struck out Elon Musk on three strait pitches in full-contact wiffle ball?)
