Santa’s DUI (Remastered x2)

Getting drunk at a party doin redneck Christmas shit Chuggin down eggnog gettin my mind split Party is in full swing, I go outside and I have to pee I go out in the snow, stop by a tree, whip it out and what do I see I hear a ho ho ho looks like you need to go go go I sure could use a break myself, you know All this drivin’ around, chimney shit, can kinda get boring and slow He jumps off my chimney, after I’m done with my pee pee He says hey looks like that Christmas party is the place to be My job is so fuckin’ boring sober, I wanna get shitfaced all over If you let me join y’all I’ll do this I’ll put you permanently on the nice list And I said “well come right on in big guy!” Well Santa’s getting drunk as shit tonight Turns out he’d already been drinkin mid flight With a hee hee hee and a ho ho ho He’s on the keg stand we’re yellin’ go go go Handin’ out bottles from his sack, haulin’ quite the load And he might just take a barrel or two for the road Now he’s takin’ off into the sky, swerved and clipped an airplane, oh me oh my I wonder if it’s possible to give Santa a D.U.I. *guitar solo* Well Santa’s yelling out “let’s do some shots” Pulls cuervo bottles from his sack and it’s a lot Hey Santa you’re one hell of a guy Does that bag have some salt and lime With a wink and a nod he pulls em out Then we take the shots and start to scream and shout Not even an hour later Santa’s hittin’ the yayger And he’s a passin’ it all around Then we hear a clapping sound Cause just to make things a little chipper, Santa reached into his bag and pulled out some strippers And I’m about to bust all over the place cause I’m gettin Christmas tiddies in my face Well Santa’s getting drunk as shit tonight Turns out he’d already been drinkin mid flight With a hee hee hee and a ho ho ho He’s on the keg stand we’re yellin’ go go go Handin’ out bottles from his sack, haulin’ quite the load And he might just take a barrel or two for the road Now he’s takin’ off into the sky, swerved and clipped an airplane, oh me oh my I wonder if it’s possible to give Santa a D.U.I. “GUITAR!” *steel guitar solo* All of a sudden Santa feels a rumble in his belly He lets out a fart that’s oh so smelly Then he goes and pukes on the lawn And runs upstairs to use the John Santa calls out to me while taking a crap Tells me to reach into his sack So I reach into the bag while I’m plastered And pull out a brand new Stratocaster Well some drunk dumbass let in the reindeer And they’re pissin and shittin’ and drinkin all my beer Oh they’re tearing the damn house apart, then Santa lets out another big ol fart I knock on the door ask “Santa you okay?” And he replies “son it’s best if you back away” “I’ll see ya down stairs after I let this monster out” And then he unleashes a torrent of diarrhea that floods the entire house! “GOOD JOB SANTA! SPREAD THAT CHRISTMAS CHEER!…aw shit…who’s gunna clean it up?” Well Santa’s getting drunk as shit tonight Turns out he’d already been drinkin mid flight With a hee hee hee and a ho ho ho He’s on the keg stand we’re yellin’ go go go Handin’ out bottles from his sack, haulin’ quite the load And he might just take a barrel or two for the road Now he’s takin’ off into the sky, swerved and clipped an airplane, oh me oh my I wonder if it’s possible to give Santa a D.U.I. “UH OH!” Well Santa’s getting drunk as shit tonight Turns out he’d already been drinkin mid flight With a hee hee hee and a ho ho ho He’s on the keg stand we’re yellin’ go go go Handin’ out bottles from his sack, haulin’ quite the load And he might just take a barrel or two for the road Now he’s takin’ off into the sky, swerved and clipped an airplane, oh me oh my I wonder if it’s possible to give Santa a D.U.I. “ONE MORE TIME!!!” Yeaaaah Well Santa’s getting drunk as shit tonight Turns out he’d already been drinkin mid flight With a hee hee hee and a ho ho ho He’s on the keg stand we’re yellin’ go go go Handin’ out bottles from his sack, haulin’ quite the load And he might just take a barrel or two for the road Now he’s takin’ off into the sky, swerved and clipped an airplane, oh me oh my I wonder if it’s possible to give Santa a D.U.I. Oh yeah I wonder if it’s possible to give Santa…A DEE…YOU…EYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! WHOOOOOO!!! Santa’s gettin’ drunk as shit tonight Santa’s gettin’ drunk as shit tonight Santa’s gettin’ drunk as shit tonight Santa’s gettin’ drunk as shit tonight Santa’s gettin’ drunk as shit tonight Yeah!