[Verse 1] I keep a version of myself Folded neatly out of sight He knows when to smile politely He knows when to say goodnight He knows how to read the weather In a pause, a breath, a tone He can turn a quiet room Into a reason to go home [Verse 2] I keep my hands behind my back So no one sees them shake I call it being careful When I’m really wide awake Counting all the exits Measuring the floor Wondering if kindness Is a trap I’ve seen before [Pre-Chorus] And I know it isn’t fair To make love stand trial For every hand that left For every voice that lied But fear is such a faithful thing It comes when I call And tells me if I run right now I won’t have to fall [Chorus] There’s a boy I hide Behind the careful things I say He’s been holding all my panic Like a blade beneath his name And I don’t want to hurt you I just learned to be afraid So I sharpen every silence Just to keep myself safe There’s a boy I hide There’s a boy I hide And he looks so much like me When he’s trying to survive [Verse 3] I make a joke before the wound Can open up too wide I disappear in plain view Then blame you for the hide I turn a missed reply Into proof you’re letting go Then hate myself for needing What I’m too scared to show [Pre-Chorus] And I know it isn’t simple I know I make it hard I leave before the leaving Then wonder why I’m scarred But somewhere under all of this Under all this practiced grace There’s a softer thing still breathing With my frightened little face [Chorus] There’s a boy I hide Behind the careful things I say He’s been holding all my panic Like a blade beneath his name And I don’t want to hurt you I just learned to be afraid So I sharpen every silence Just to keep myself safe There’s a boy I hide There’s a boy I hide And he looks so much like me When he’s trying to survive [Bridge] What if I am not a storm? What if I am not a knife? What if I am just a child Who learned to flinch before the light? What if I could lay it down? The exit plan, the proof, the blame What if I could let you see The trembling thing I keep unnamed? I don’t want to make a weapon Out of every fragile part I don’t want to call it armor When it’s only been my heart So if I shake, let me shake If I cry, let me cry If I reach for your hand Don’t ask me why Just stay there Just stay kind Let me come back In my own time [Final Chorus] There’s a boy I hide Behind the careful things I say He is tired of being guarded He is tired of being brave And he doesn’t want to hurt you He just doesn’t know the way To be loved without preparing For the moment love will change There’s a boy I hide There’s a boy I hide But I think he wants the morning I think he wants the light There’s a boy I hide There’s a boy I hide And maybe if you’re gentle I can bring him outside [Outro] I keep a version of myself Folded neatly out of sight But tonight I left the door unlocked Tonight I left the light.
