My Left Sock Is a Black Hole

[Intro | Spoken | Playful | Soft] Mmm, five more minutes-- Wait. Why can't I lift my-- leg? 왜?! [crowd laughing] [dramatic drum hit] [Verse 1 | Sweet | Playful | Pizzicato] I woke up today and something was wrong My blanket was heavy like a long long song I tried to sit up, I tried to stand But my left sock had a gravitational plan It pulled me down down down to the bed Get OFF me sock! that's what I said But the sock whispered in a deep low tone "You're not sleeping alone -- I'm a black hole at home" [glockenspiel] [Verse 2 | Bouncy | Rising | Light Brass] I finally sat up my back went crack But the sock pulled harder wouldn't cut me slack My left leg went through the bedroom floor Now I'm stuck like a lamppost can't reach the door There's a hole in my room I see the first floor Our manager laughed then laughed some more I looked at my sock it was glowing red Oh no, it's not done-- it wants to play instead [Pre-Chorus | Building | Strings Enter] I dragged my leg like a human plow Through the kitchen I don't know how The floor was dancing the walls were shaking My left sock was earthquake-making [dramatic drum hit] [Chorus | Full | Explosive | Marching Drums] My left sock is a black hole, black hole, black hole It's got its own event horizon I've lost control It pulled my bed my pillow my dream of ballet Now breakfast is flying and so is my day 내 왼쪽 양말은 블랙홀이야 Stephen Hawking's ghost is taking notes right now Carl Sagan rewrote his Cosmos script for this sock Wow [cartoon sound] [Verse 3 | Comedic | Bouncy | Light Brass] I made it to the kitchen I thought I'll eat Some rice some kimchi some seaweed some meat A classic Korean breakfast simple and warm But my sock said no and started a storm I picked up the tray took one single step The sock went anchor mode my body just left The bowl flew up the rice went left The kimchi landed on my head... what a gift [crowd laughing] [Verse 4 | Whimsical | Playful | Glockenspiel] The news arrived fast, the scientists came Professors in lab coats, they called out my name Jung Bit! Jung Bit! Your sock is a wonder! Then it pulled their van -- now it's parked six feet under Stephen Hawking's hologram did a little dance He said: "This sock deserves a Nobel Prize in advance" Carl Sagan wrote on his chalkboard with a grin: "That sock runs on chaos and vitamin B12!" I felt so proud, I gave my sock a little pat It burped a tiny star -- I said I'll accept that [Pre-Chorus | Building | Strings Swell] The floor was cracking the lights went wild My left sock left a gravitational mark I grabbed the fridge it followed my toe I'm sorry everyone I didn't know [dramatic drum hit] [Chorus | Full | Explosive | Key Change] My left sock is a black hole it's stealing my goal The couch is orbiting my left ankle now Someone call NASA I don't know how 내 왼쪽 양말은 블랙홀이야 Neil deGrasse Tyson tweeted "I told you so" My left sock is why Pluto spins slow you know [Bridge | Spoken | Warm | Intimate] [crashes and laughing] "Bit... are you okay?" "What did you do?" "My sock hates me." "Sleep-induced gravity. It comes off." "Sit down. We'll make breakfast." "Bit... have you thought about taking it off?" [pause] [dramatic drum hit] [Final Chorus | Triumphant | Full Orchestra | Climax] I took off the sock and the world went still The fridge stopped orbiting the Earth had its fill I stood up slowly then jumped then flew I'm lighter than feathers I'm brand new My left sock was a black hole but now it's gone I'm floating like a balloon singing this song No gravity no anchor no Tuesday apocalypse Just me and my ten toes what a twist 내 왼쪽 양말은 -- 이제 없어 [glockenspiel] [Outro | Spoken | Playful | Laughing] So yeah. That happened. My sock ate my floor, my breakfast, and three scientists' dignity. But you know what? Someone call Einstein. I want a refund on gravity. And honestly? I got lucky. That black hole almost swallowed this whole song. --But I'm keeping the sock. It's my emotional support black hole now. We leave for tour tomorrow. Pray for the hotels. [laughing] [crowd cheering]