Through the Stained Glass
[Verse 1] Through the stained glass With a shameful, sorrowful reflection It was me A young king with no sense of direction And now my whole kingdom in shambles Crawlin' out the wreckage And the right path was in my peripherals I just never checked it I couldn't leave well enough alone Had to add another sentence And you could call it blind faith How I walked into it with no tension I gave it all for this It's so pretentious In a two-bedroom apartment with six kids It's no pretending I'm workin' on my last nerve And I'm ready to sever all my tendons All my boys got dreams, wanna be like they father Wanna rap like him They even try to play him harder He told 'em, "If you really wanna do it Better be smarter than me Because I ain't doin' what I'm supposed to Ain't tryna be the one who told you 'Cause I can't coach you, for real" The homie called, said he gotta do a 10-piece It's his third strike But they said that it's a mercy Told me, "Play it smart, 'cause you can't hurt me" And he been prayin' that I don't see him early 'Cause you ain't worthy, for real [Chorus] Wasn't supposed to make it this far Wasn't supposed to be a rap star Wasn't supposed to buy a new car Wasn't supposed to buy a new house Wasn't supposed to have a good spouse Wasn't supposed to have a good child Wasn't supposed to see me smile Wasn't supposed to see me smile [Verse 2] My homie died last week We was thick as thieves Last time I saw him, we wasn't speakin' It's eatin' me I had to live with that forever And even if I got the chance to make it right I know it ain't gon' be the same, but I know better It's been some days I wanted to switch places It's been some times I done went back to my old ways And got complacent Ain't nothin' that can prepare you for losin' it all I know that fear is why we stuck and refusin' to [Verse 2] I know that fear is why we stuck and refusin' to ask for help So we swallow silence like it's gospel and we bury the truth I replay the last laugh we had like a movie on loop Tryna pinpoint the moment when the light slipped from his roof Regret is a currency that never loses value I pay in sleepless nights and hollow words I can't salvage If I could trade these chains for second chances I would gamble But life don't take IOUs so I'm learnin' to handle All the grief that got sprawled across my living room floor All the calls I never returned and the doors I closed before I keep a seat at the table even if it aches Tell my sons to map their paths and learn from my mistakes Don't worship my trophies or the flash of dashboard lights Respect the work that got you here and keep your conscience right [Bridge] I pray for forgiveness but I work for the change Lessons stitched in my bones like a permanent stain I know love ain't perfect but it's worth all the pain So I'm steady rebuildin' piece by piece, frame by frame [Verse 3] Now I teach my boys how to count more than money and fame How to hold a hand steady when the world tries to make you ashamed I show 'em the art of apologizin' with no excuses How to stand when the wind blows and not confuse it for truthless I write letters to ghosts and fold 'em into my day Tellin' 'em I'm sorry and I'm sorry in other ways I pick up the phone more, I pick up the slack I plant seeds for a garden where there used to be lack If success is a lesson then failure's the teacher I pass down the notes so one day they won't need a preacher We pray for the lost and we fight for the found We build steady and gentle on this battleground [Chorus] Wasn't supposed to make it this far Wasn't supposed to be a rap star Wasn't supposed to buy a new car Wasn't supposed to buy a new house Wasn't supposed to have a good spouse Wasn't supposed to have a good child Wasn't supposed to see me smile Wasn't supposed to see me smile [Outro] So if you hear my voice from a broken street corner Know I'm choosin' better for the ones that come after I ain't perfect but I'm present and that matters more I'm signin' my name on a future built to last hereafter
